The nurse nodded back at me. “Yes sir. Enjoy your dinner.”
“Thanks,” I murmured back.
He started to walk away from me, but then he looked back over his shoulder. “Uh, is everything okay?”
My eyes widened a bit. “What?”
“Oh, you just seem, I don’t know, sadder than usual. I mean, it isn’t as if you’re Tickle me Elmo or anything, but normally you’re more upbeat, or at least content. Ever since you got back, you seem out of sorts.”
It was weird hearing it explained that way. I guess I hadn’t noticed, but losing Khloe had much more of an effect on me than I realized. “Truthfully? I’m going through a breakup right now.”
The nurse frowned. “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s no fun. Well, take care of yourself. Stay hydrated, don’t become a hermit. I went through that last year, so I know how difficult it can be.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
He gave me a final smile and then headed off. It was weird speaking about Khloe like a thing of my past. I’d only just gotten the chance to be with her, and I really thought it was going to be the real thing. I went and collected my phone and wallet and then made my way down to the hospital cafeteria. I thought of the nurse’s warning to ‘not become a hermit’ and rolled my eyes. It wasn’t holing up in my house that I needed to be concerned about, it was holing up in my job. If I was working, I wasn’t thinking about Khloe, and if I wasn’t thinking about Khloe, I could at least get some modicum of peace.
I should have gone out for lunch, to get out of the hospital for a bit, but I honestly didn’t want to. I didn’t want to do much of anything. I was just settling down to eat a sandwich and some soup when I got a call from Luke. Going through a breakup was hard, but going through the same breakup as your best friends was near impossible to deal with. I felt like I couldn’t get my act together, but Luke was a complete wreck. With some of the guys not even having forgiven him yet, I was doing my best to cater to him when I could.
I answered my phone with a sigh. “Hey man.”
“Hey,” Luke responded. “Are you at work?”
“Yeah, I’m on call all night.” I took a quick bite of my food. “What’s up, you doing okay?”
“When’s your next break?” he said, ignoring my question.
“I’m on break right now.”
“Can I come meet up with you?”
“Oh, yeah man, of course. I’m in the cafeteria at the hospital.”
“Okay. I’m at the hospital now too, so I’ll be there in a second.” I wanted to ask what he was already doing here, but before I could get the words out, the line clicked dead. It made me nervous. Luke was never that short.
A few minutes later, Luke entered the cafeteria, and despite the number of good looking women who worked for the hospital that locked eyes on him immediately as he walked in, he didn’t seem concerned with them at all. He headed over to my table and sat down across from me.
“I’m sorry,” Luke said immediately. “I’m sorry I messed this up for us.”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” I said. “I know that some of the other guys are mad at you alone, but that list was all of our mistakes. We ruined this for ourselves. All of us.”
“Why can’t I get over it?” Luke said. “It was only a couple of days.”
“For us it was a couple of days, but for you it’s been ten years,” I explained. “You may not think you liked Khloe back in high school, but you’ve told me stories that make me think you did. You felt pressured to bully her so you did, but those times when you were watching her in the library or following her down the halls. It was because you liked her.”
Luke sat contemplating this. I could see in his face that he knew I was right, but that probably didn’t make things any easier. “Well, I don’t know what to do anymore. Kent’s still pissed that I broke his rule to begin with because Anna’s all upset, and Christian and Brett won’t even talk to me. Anytime I see Mason, Bram, or David, even though they’re not mad at me, I can see it in their faces, I’m just a reminder of the fact that they lost Khloe. I can see that look in your face too.”
I sighed. I wanted to pretend as if that wasn’t true. As if I wasn’t contributing anymore to Luke’s frustration, but when I saw him, it did force my brain back to the memory that we lost her. I’m sure he could see that in my face. “I’m sorry.”