I ground my teeth together, my urge to punch him rising with every breath. “This has nothing to do with my control.” And everything to do with protecting you, I added to myself.
“It has everything to do with your control. You want her, and it’s becoming harder and harder not to fuck her. The fact that she could derail a future we both despise only makes her that much more intriguing. But we can’t. We both know we can’t.”
“I’m not the one considering that fantasy,” I pointed out.
“Maybe not, but you like the idea just as much as I do,” he tossed back as he bent to pick up his sodden clothes. “Next time, I’m in charge.”
“There won’t be a next time, Kols.”
He gave me a look. “When did you start lying to yourself?” he asked.
He didn’t wait for an answer, instead stepping out of the shower to throw his ruined wardrobe into my trash bin, and grabbed a towel.
“Thanks for the hand job,” he said at the doorway. “But we’re both going to need a hell of a lot more than that to survive Aflora.”
I couldn’t think of a single retort, his words truer than anything I’d ever heard.
So I leaned back against the wall, closed my eyes, and allowed the water to trickle over my skin, washing away the evidence of our pleasure.
He left with a towel around his waist, his accusation hanging between us.
When did you start lying to yourself?
The day Aflora first arrived, I thought back at him now, not that he could hear me.
The admission was more for me anyway.
Including the realization that I’d always been interested in the pretty little Royal Earth Fae, even when I claimed not to be.
Only now, my control was slipping, just as Kols had stated, proving he still knew me better than I knew myself.
I’m so utterly fucked.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Aflora
“Ugh, Zeph is in a mood,” Ella groaned as we finished our fourth lap around the courtyard. He’d started today’s class with cardio fitness, claiming it would help fire us up for whatever defensive spells he had in store.
But I agreed with Ella. Zeph was just doing this to be cruel. “It’s too hot for this.”
“I know,” she panted, grabbing her water bottle off the ground and downing half of it in one go. “I swear the moon is really a sun in this place, because fuck, it’s burning up out here.”
All the exploding burning thwomps nearby didn’t help.
Zeph blew hard on his whistle, calling everyone in and pairing us off like he did for each class. Kols joined me in his sweats and sleeveless shirt, looking refreshed despite our heavy warm-up. “He’s being a dick,” he muttered.
“I know.” I just didn’t know why. We hadn’t seen each other since my independent study day that he’d ended early. That was five days ago. Usually, I saw him at least once during our break days, but he’d either left the Academy or avoided me the entire time. I suspected it might be the latter since he wouldn’t even look at me today.
He stood with his arms folded in the center of the courtyard, his legs braced, as he explained today’s exercise in an emotionless tone.
“Playing with familiars,” Shade mused when Zeph was done, his arm brushing mine as he moved to stand beside me. “This part should be new to you, yes?” He didn’t wait for me to reply, instead adding, “I wonder what’s going to show up to protect you. Maybe a pretty flower?”
“Attack me and find out,” I taunted.
As I’d practiced the conjuring spell last night during my preparations for today’s class, I already knew what would arrive to defend me. And I’d love to watch it claw Shade’s eyes out after the dream he’d inflicted upon me last night. I could still feel the scrape of his teeth taunting the flesh between my thighs. And I hated how just the image of it had me clenching my limbs, my arousal mounting all over again.
For as much as I loathed him, Shade knew how to use his tongue.