Tread carefully with her heart. The words buzzed in his ears. He would never forgive himself if he hurt Addie or wounded her delicate heart.
Addie lifted her face up toward him. She closed her eyes. Caleb reached out and traced the shape of her lips with his finger. She wanted him to kiss her. It’s what he wanted to do, more than anything. He was torn between the desires of his heart and knowing he might be taking things too far. Caleb wasn’t certain his heart was available. He had a lot of emotional baggage he still needed to sort through. Tonight had shown him in no uncertain terms that he still hadn’t dealt with his past. It was hard to build any kind of future when he was still stuck in limbo.
With a sigh, Caleb lowered his head and placed his lips on Addie’s. Regardless of his reservations, he enjoyed kissing Addie. It made his soul soar. When he was in her presence, Caleb felt joyful. She filled a hole in him that no one else could. Her lips were soft and pliable. She kissed him back with equal measure. For a few moments, Caleb felt free and light. He didn’t harbor a single reservation.
As the kiss ended Addie snuggled in the crook of his arm. The kiss was a welcome distraction to the information Chandra had divulged. For now, he felt calm. Content. Later on he knew the information from this evening might cause him to toss and turn in his bed. The past was a mystery to him. And it had been for as long as he could remember. But, he couldn’t deny the way Addie made him feel. She lifted him up to a place where he felt he could deal with just about anything.
Curiosity gnawed at him. Was it time for him to reconnect with the woman who hadn’t loved or wanted him? His life was a happy one. He had a beautiful family and two parents who adored and supported him. He didn’t want to hurt either of them by digging into the past. Did he need to track down his birth mother? Absolutely not. That ship had sailed almost twenty years ago. He needed to keep looking forward and put a lid on the past. It’s what he’d always done. And he would continue to do it.
Lord, please help me put the past firmly in my rearview mirror. Nothing good can come of my unearthing old hurts. You blessed me with my wonderful Donahue family. I’ll never need anything more than that. They saved me in every way possible. It’s not wise to look backward. Help me focus on the blessings in my life and not dwell on the unanswered questions from the past.
**
Addie had a hard time settling down to sleep after the strange meeting between Chandra and Caleb. Had she made a terrible mistake in inviting her friend to talk to Caleb? Not being able to sleep, Addie got up and reached for a mystery novel that had been sitting on her bedside table for weeks. After thumbing through it for a few minutes, Addie realized she couldn’t get into it. She felt as if she had her own mystery to solve. She desperately wanted to help Caleb unravel his past in a healthy manner.
Wasn’t information power?
She pulled her covers off, grabbed her laptop and made her way to the kitchen. After flipping on the lights and putting the kettle on to make some tea, she settled down at her kitchen table. She began to google the name Rayna Johnson and Tampa, Florida. After a few minutes of searching around, she hit pay dirt. A woman’s face popped up on her screen, accompanied by a newspaper article. Addie let out a gasp at the headline. “Local woman rebuilds life after tragic losses.” Although she felt a sliver of guilt for doing research behind Caleb’s back, Addie knew she was doing it for his benefit.
As Addie began to read the article from the Tampa Times, she felt overwhelming compassion for Rayna. Caleb’s biological mother had lived a tumultuous life. Raised in poverty, she had excelled in the world of academia and received a full college scholarship to Brown University, where she met her future husband, Ray. They settled down in Florida where they were happily raising their son until Ray’s tragic death in a car accident. Rayna struggled with grief and depression and lost her job at a university. Forced to move back home to a dicey neighborhood in Tampa, Rayna struggled to raise her child as a single mother working menial jobs to keep a roof over their heads.
Addie read out loud. “After losing her only child to the foster care system after a fire broke out in their apartment when he was home alone, Rayna sank into drug use and depression.” Addie made a tutting sound. Rayna’s story—which was Caleb’s story as well—was tragic and full of twists and turns. She contin
ued to read, praying for a bright spot in the story.
“After turning my life over to the Lord, I found redemption,” Addie read Rayna’s statement. Her heart rejoiced at the fact that Rayna had managed to rise up past her sad circumstances. “My only wish is that my son was here to see it. But I gave up custody of him so he could have a better life. And I have no idea where he is, but I pray for him each and every day.”
Tears slid down Addie’s face. All of her life she’d been privileged. She’d been raised in penthouses and palatial estates. She had attended private schools and luxury camps. She’d never wanted for anything in a material sense. Rayna had been dealt some very bad cards in life. Despite her trying to better herself through education, she’d fallen apart after her husband’s death. And she’d lost the son she still thought about. Caleb!
He needed to know this information! It could very well change his life. Perhaps if he sat down with Rayna they could work their way through all the years of loss and separation. He had been given the most wonderful family in the world through his adoption by the Donahue clan. She imagined nothing would change if he reunited with his birth mother. It wouldn’t affect the relationships with his parents or siblings one bit.
How in the world could she broach this subject with Caleb without causing him any further trauma? His reaction tonight had been very emotional. Clearly, he had blocked out things regarding his past. If she proceeded with this, she needed to handle the situation in a very delicate manner. Addie bit her lip. She wondered if reaching out to Jude and Penelope would be a good idea or whether Caleb would view it as a betrayal of his confidence?
She needed to get some rest and pray about what she should do in order to help Caleb. He was one of the finest men she’d ever known. With each and every day, Addie was finding more reasons to like him. And not just as a business partner. Caleb Donahue was finding his way into the inner regions of her heart. And there wasn’t a single thing she could do at this point to stop it.
“Love grabs you by the throat and never lets go. It’s the most exhilarating, powerful and scariest feeling I’ve ever known.”
Heath Donahue
Chapter Eight
The morning dawned bright and beautiful. It was Saturday and he wasn’t working today at the bistro. Neither was Addie. He had invited her to go sailing this morning on the waters of Pelican Sound. He had no idea where this relationship with Addie was going, but he knew he loved spending time with her. He knew there wasn’t another woman in his life he would have opened up to about his birth mother the way he had done with Addie. She was becoming a huge part of his life between the Blue Bayou and his off-time from work.
As he walked down the pier toward the Donahue family sailboat, he spotted a familiar figure walking toward him. Although she looked slighter than usual, he knew it was Bella Vincente.
“Hey Bella. It’s been a long time,” Caleb said, extending a warm greeting.
Caleb was a bit shocked at the sight of Heath’s ex-girlfriend. She didn’t look like her usual self. She had lost weight and dark shadows hovered underneath her eyes. With her blonde hair and blue-green eyes, she was a very attractive woman. At the moment she looked like she needed a decent meal and some sleep.
“Caleb! It’s good to see you,” she murmured as she reached out and hugged him. He gave her an extra tight hug, knowing she needed the support. He had always known how much Bella loved his brother. She had prayed for his safe return from military service, and now that they were both together on American soil, their relationship had blown up.
“I suppose you know about me and Heath?” she asked, smoothing back her hair with a shaky hand.
Caleb nodded. “I was pretty shocked to hear the news. I thought the two of you were in it for the long haul. To be honest, I thought I’d be calling you sis soon.”
Tears pooled in Bella’s eyes. “So did I,” she said in a choked up voice.
Caleb wanted to kick himself for making Bella sad. “I’m sorry, Bella,” he said in a contrite voice. “There I go again with my big mouth. I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing.”