Fear was still a living, breathing thing inside of her. Would she ever have an aura of peace surrounding her? Or would the past always hang over her head? Isabelle needed to have faith in Jonah and his assurances.
Lord, please give me a spirit of grace and not fear. I’m so tired of looking over my shoulder and wondering if I’m still in danger. Please lift me up so I can see beyond my anxieties. Bless my future and help me banish the past.
As the party began to wind down, Ella left the main tearoom to gather up her belongings in the coatroom. She’d already said her goodbyes to Piper, Iris, Sage and Rachel. Just as she was putting on her coat, Isabelle felt a slight tap on her shoulder. When she turned around, Connor was standing there.
“Hey. Are you heading out?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered, zipping up her coat before adjusting her hat. “It was a great party, but I’m tired.”
“I barely got to talk to you at all,” he said.
She shifted from one foot to the other. It wasn’t as if she’d been avoiding him, but she hadn’t sought him out either. Truthfully, she felt a little self-conscious around him now, based on the information Iris had shared with her. It was ridiculous on her part, considering Connor could never be anything more than a friend.
“Well, the place was packed. All these people must really love Piper and Braden.”
Connor nodded. “Everyone enjoys a good love story. They were childhood best friends throughout their lives, so it’s all the sweeter that they fell in love.”
It was utterly charming. No wonder they were the town’s sweethearts. It’s what everyone wanted. Marrying your best friend and making a beautiful life together would be a dream come true for most people. A heaviness settled on her chest. Something so wonderful wasn’t destined for her. And it was beginning to weigh on her. Isabelle had always been the little girl dreaming of a big wedding filled with family and friends. Most importantly, she had fantasized about marrying a man who brought her joy.
“I’m so happy for them,” she said, though her voice sounded wooden to her own ears. She hated feeling this way and wondered when she’d return to her usual upbeat and positive vibe.
“I have to get going,” she said, before quickly striding toward the door. She imagined Connor thought her actions were abrupt, but she didn’t stop walking at a fast clip until she reached her truck, which was parked down the street. Along the way she breathed in big gulps of the cold air, all the while reminding herself that this too would pass. Surely better days were coming. Every step on her journey would carry her through the darkness. Isabelle prayed she would be strong enough to see it through.
* * *
Connor had felt a slight chill in the air as he said his goodbyes to Ella—and it had nothing to do with the actual temperature. He wasn’t sure what he’d done, but instinct told him she was annoyed with him. Perhaps he should have made more of an effort to seek her out at the party, but he’d been worried about smothering her. It was fantastic that she’d been welcomed, but now he was scratching his head about what he’d done wrong. It mattered to him what Ella thought about him. He wasn’t the type of man who had ever been overly concerned about the opinion of others, but with this woman everything had been turned upside down.
A half an hour later Connor was helping with the cleanup and still racking his brain to figure out Ella’s frosty demeanor. Earlier, she’d been fine. Perhaps he’d stepped over the line with her in some way that made her uncomfortable.
Sage made a beeline in his direction. “Hey. Have you seen Ella anywhere? I can’t seem to find her.”
“She left a few minutes ago. You just missed her.”
Sage let out a groan. “She left behind her goody bag and the prize package she won. I guess that I could swing by her place tomorrow after Addie’s Gymboree class and give it to her.”
“I can take it to her if you want. She lives a few minutes down the road from me, so it’s not a big deal.”
Sage’s eyes lit up. “Seriously? That would be fantastic. You’re the best, Connor.”
“Of course I am,” he teased. “I’m still waiting for that favorite brother T-shirt.”
Sage put a finger up to her lips. “Shh. We don’t want Braden to hear.” They both laughed as Connor once again marveled at how wonderful it was to have his sister back. He tried not to dwell too much on all the lost years. If he thought about it for too long it always took him to a place of resentment and anger.
As everyone joined in to help clean up, Connor began to second-guess his offer to drop off Ella’s items at her house. Clearly he’d jumped at the opportunity just so he could spend more time with her, even if it was only a few moments. But he wanted to figure out why she’d been acting so cold.
Connor looked at his watch. He wanted to get over to Ella’s house before it got too late. He’d already agreed to help Braden bring some of the gifts over to the new house he’d just built as a wedding surprise for Piper. Once he had done that, he didn’t hesitate to get back on the road.
Connor cranked up the volume on the radio. Somebody was singing a poignant country song about losing the love of his life. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel to the fast tempo. Maybe he should just turn the truck around and go home. Ella seemed to be a private person who might not embrace the idea of him just showi
ng up at her door. His mind kept flitting back to her shuttered expression and closed off body language. Why had he thought that this was a good idea?
He was failing miserably in staying away from Ella. This was a prime example. Connor was going out of his way to be in her presence when he could have left well enough alone. Despite his conflicted feelings about whether Ella was someone he could trust, he liked her. A lot.
Maybe his suspicions about her were nothing more than his own wild imagination. Perhaps he was just used to knowing everything about everyone in his hometown. It wasn’t right to judge her for not being an open book and for appearing frightened. If he made a list of pros versus cons, he was certain the pros would far outweigh the cons.
Or maybe he was simply trying to stuff down his grave reservations. She was beautiful and sweet natured, and he didn’t want to run the risk of letting something wonderful slip through his fingers.
Yet nothing had changed to allow him to feel confident that Ella wasn’t still harboring secrets that might blow up in his face.