“You did,” he whispered breathlessly, and took his time staring at the man who had changed everything. The sun shining in through the large round window created threads of light in Abaddon’s long hair, but when the angel pulled back to take off his own top, the erotic way he twisted his body made Gabriel bite back a moan. So much beauty for him to gorge on. Every ridge of tattooed muscle, every single hair on Abaddon’s body was his to adore.
Abaddon laid his weight on top and latched on to Gabriel’s neck. The gentle touch sent sparks all over, creating new galaxies in Gabriel’s limbs. “You’re so beautiful.”
“Me?” Gabriel laughed, wrapping his arms around Abaddon’s neck and taking in a lungful of the scent of his long hair. “I’m like a misformed chocolate bar. Not in perfect shape, but still tasty.”
Abaddon shook his head, and as he moved, trailing kisses over Gabriel’s jaw, his smooth dark hair glided over sensitive skin like a silk veil. “No, lamb. You’re like a unique chocolate sculpture, created by an artist.”
Gabriel couldn’t help the silly smile blooming on his face. “You’re the sweetest. No wonder I enjoy the taste of you so much.” He licked up Abaddon’s shoulder as sparks trailed down his stomach.
Abaddon gave a lusty chuckle and nipped on Gabriel’s mouth. “This makes me wonder about the other things you might enjoy.”
“Mm?” Gabriel’s eyelids felt heavy, but he couldn’t have been more excited and relaxed under the best blanket he could imagine. His hands roamed over Abaddon’s back, encouraged by the heat of sunshine. If Heaven felt like this, no wonder Abaddon wanted to go back.
Abaddon hummed, meeting his gaze and tenderly stroking Gabriel’s cheek. “I would like to make love to you.”
Gabriel arched for a kiss and rocked against him, eager for more friction. “What do you mean?”
Abaddon bit his lip before twisting his hips to settle between Gabriel’s spread thighs. Their erections met, creating the unbearable pressure that they both wanted to somehow last forever.
“I mean that I would like to hold you like this and kiss you while I’m inside you.”
The buzz in Gabriel’s head became a cacophony of thoughts fighting for priority.
But when the promise in Abaddon’s eyes clashed with a memory so ugly Gabriel tried not to think on it much, he was left frozen. “I don’t understand,” he whispered, trying to cleanse his mind of suspicion and bitterness. Abaddon would have never intentionally hurt Gabriel, but hearing him suggest something so painful and vile pushed Gabriel down a spiral of anxiety.
Abaddon lifted his weight off him and rolled to his side, taking Gabriel with him so their bodies remained intertwined. “I understand if you don’t want to, but… I just want you to understand that what’s been done to you was violence, just like everything else those monsters have done. But the same… action can also be loving and very, very pleasurable.”
Gabriel glanced into Abaddon’s gray eyes and hugged him, wishing they could merge into one body. Was that what his lover was offering?
“It hurt,” Gabriel choked out and pulled on the blanket to make a cocoon around their bodies. Relief flooded every fiber of his being when his lover shifted, moving so Gabriel’s head could rest on the safe shores of his chest,
“Because you were just a child, and scared,” Abaddon whispered, petting Gabriel’s head in a soothing gesture. “What can be done for pleasure by adults, was used against you.”
“P-people do that? Other than actors, for the movies?” Gabriel’s mind struggled with that concept, but the trust he had for Abaddon went far beyond anything he could ever offer another human being.
Abaddon was meant for him as if they were two halves of the same apple. One half bruised, while the other—all red and perfect. No matter that difference, their union couldn’t have been sweeter.
Abaddon nodded, kissing the top of Gabriel’s head. “Yes. And if the person receiving it relaxes, it feels amazing.”
Fitting this new information with Gabriel’s understanding of the world was like trying to shove a cube into a spherical hole. Perhaps if he spoke of things he’d always kept to himself, Abaddon would help him make sense of them? “Martinez, he… never did that again, but whenever he visited, it was as if he was going out of his way to make me feel uncomfortable. He’d sometimes be there when I was going through medical examinations, I think to see me naked, or touched me under the guise of something mundane. Father John allowed him this. I think it’s what made me grow up all awkward and conflicted about liking men. Because I never wanted him around, but he’d been the only one to act this way toward me and it made me all confused about my cravings. All my life, I thought they were unnatural and wrong, but after you kissed me that first time, it felt so… fulfilling, so right.”