He had to take another sip of wine, surprised by the biting kick of the alcohol. He could finally speak as the rush hit his head.
“This is Harry,” he pointed to the boy, scooting under Abaddon’s arm. “I’ve asked Mrs. Knight about him today.”
Abaddon put his arm around Gabriel and took a sip from the glass. “Did he…?”
Gabriel let out a laugh filled with sorrow. “He’s fine. He’s perfectly fine. He got adopted, he became a priest. He’s happy.” He couldn’t know that, yet he couldn’t imagine a different scenario compared to his own miserable lot.
“Oh, Lamb,” Abaddon put the wine on the floor and pulled him to his fragrant chest. If Hell smelled like him, of warm stone, there was nowhere Gabriel would rather be.
He had to take a deep breath to speak, but then had more wine, slumped against his angel. “I was thinking that maybe he should know the truth, that I should go see him.”
Abaddon’s arms loosened around him. “Why? He survived. Aren’t you happy for him?”
Gabriel sat straight. “I am. But he was a part of this too.” He pointed to the photo. “Shouldn’t he know what others have been through?” What I’ve been through.
Abaddon grabbed his chin and made their eyes meet. His own were dark with sympathy, but he shook his head. “What good would it do if he knew that he was the only one who hadn’t gone through a terrible ordeal despite being meant to?”
Gabriel felt the accusation in Abaddon’s question, and he downed his wine, because he needed more of that buzz if he was to admit his true feelings. “I don’t know! Why does he get to go on with his life while I’m stuck here like some lame horse nobody wants? They made me think I was crazy. Why didn’t they just end me? Isn’t it unfair that he gets to be out there, unaware of all this?” He slapped the photos back into the box.
Abaddon exhaled, leaning in until their foreheads touched. The intimacy of the gesture brought tears to Gabriel’s eyes, but he was intent not to let it show.
“Life isn’t always fair. But the worst is behind you. You will leave this place and start fresh. You will live free too. So let him have this.”
Gabriel exhaled and stroked Abaddon’s thigh. “I wished I was dead many times. But not right now. You make me feel like it was worth persevering, just so I could find out the truth, avenge all those other kids. So I could meet you. I don’t know what future I have, but the past has led me here, to a real angel, so maybe it’s not so bad, maybe God did take pity on me.”
Abaddon squeezed him hard, swallowing as he grabbed at Gabriel’s clothes in an attempt to pull them even closer. “I want to see you in ten years, thriving in the place of your choosing.”
Gabriel’s heart clenched in pain, because Abaddon wouldn’t be here in ten years, so they had to make the best of the time they were given. He arched for a kiss, his hands already wandering to the beloved body. Abaddon was so big, so strong, yet didn’t intimidate Gabriel in any way. The safety Gabriel felt around his angel was like the softest cushions, and he had no qualms about pulling Abaddon down with him into the nest of blankets and comforters.
Abaddon took Gabriel’s wine glass and made a face when he realized it was almost empty. “Naughty. Are you drunk yet?” he asked after putting it on the floor.
“I’ve never been drunk, so it’s hard to say. My head’s a bit fuzzy, but it feels good.” He pulled on Abaddon’s arm, eager to have him close again, but then decided to take off his hoodie.
His angel lifted himself with a wide smile and watched him struggle. “Sounds like you’re tipsy already. That’s good, I want you to relax, lamb,” he said and put his hands on either side of Gabriel’s head, descending toward him.
Gabriel smiled at him, and affection coursed through his body, ever sweeter, as if his heart were a sugar cube. “You’ve already made me so happy. Before you, my days were full of loneliness that I couldn’t shake off. As if I lived behind an invisible wall where no one could reach me.”
Abaddon’s eyes were like two coins spinning in front of him. Their glinting fueled Gabriel’s desire until his toes curled, and he arched to kiss his lover’s lips.
He so loved the taste of his angel. It was all strength, stability, and a promise of pleasures that were still new yet already addictive.
“I’m here now,” Abaddon promised, rubbing his face against Gabriel’s cheek.
Feeling bold, Gabriel pulled off his T-shirt as well. Abaddon had shown him so many times that neither the burn scars on his chest nor the lash marks on his back and arms could repel him.