“Thanks,” he said, holding up the tablet.
“No thanks. We are mates. What’s mine is also yours,” Darius told him.
Kalen nodded and watched as Darius left. Even with Darius’s words, he still felt unworthy.
Kalen messaged me, and I replied. At first, I felt obligated to until I was just as obsessed with him as he was with me. He was the highlight of my day, and I was his. Until I stopped replying.
#
Kalen was excited because he would meet me today, and he waited patiently, but today he couldn’t contain his excitement as the memories moved along. That excitement died along with him. Five years, and he was able to tell me who he was, only I never replied, and he spiraled.
I was the last rejection he could take, so he hung himself. He believed he ruined everyone’s chance to have their keeper. He convinced himself he was the reason I ran. Then he convinced himself they would be better off without him. So, he repeatedly killed himself, becoming more unstable each time he came back to find I never came back for him.
My heart broke, knowing I was his last straw, a life of rejection, and the one person who should love him most. His keeper never came for him. No. Instead, I ran from him, and in turn, I killed him. That knowledge burned my soul, marred my heart, and broke the spell I was under as I lurched forward, ripping myself out of his memories and into the present world. Kalen sat next to me, staring at me.
“It was you all along,” I whispered. Tears glistened in my eyes before spilling over. “I never ran from you, Kalen. I was trying to find you, find my internet friend,” I told him, and he sucked in an unsteady breath.
Kalen dropped his head. “You’re not mad I didn’t tell you?”
I shook my head. “No, I am mad I ran,” I told him before throwing myself in his arms.
Chapter 80
Kalen
She was out cold for hours, her shredding had died off, but we all knew it was only a matter of time before it returned. There were four of us after all, and until she completed it entirely, it would only keep returning, though the first part seemed to have worn off.
“Try to get some sleep,” Lycus murmurs behind me, yet all I could do was stare and watch her eyelids move as she watched the disaster of my entire life unfold.
I hated myself, hated that being our keeper, she would have to endure all my misdoings, all my failures, and most of all, I hated that she would know. She would see how truly pathetic I am. Aleera would know that I am weak. I had nothing to offer her, and I worried she would be upset that she was cursed with a mate like me.
Lycus growls, gripping my face and tilting my head to look up at him. “Get some sleep!” he growls, but I shake my head, gnawing on my fingernail while staring back at her sleeping body.
“Leave him be, Lycus,” Tobias says as he gets ready for bed. He climbed in beside Aleera, tucking her tiny body against him. She reacted instantly to him, rolling into him and clutching hisarm as she whimpered at whatever she was living through in my memories. Lycus squeezes my shoulders, kneeling behind me as he watches her.
“She will be fine,”
“I know that. It isn’t what I am worried about,” I whisper, and he leans down, resting his chin on my shoulder and wrapping his huge tree-trunk arms around my waist.
“Then what is it?” he asks, nipping at my mark.
“You’re not weak!” Darius snarls, and I glance at him over my shoulder. He was sitting by the fire, glaring at it while Ryze perched on the back of the armchair, watching him.
“Is that what you think?” Lycus growls at me. His anger erupted through the bond, and I hung my head. Darius always read me too well. They all did. Darius, however, was usually the most observant.
“What if she thinks I am?” I murmur.
“You are not weak. Never say that again. You know I hate when you talk like that.” Lycus snapped.
“Lycus, calm down,” Tobias scolded as Lycus trembled behind me, fighting the urge to shift at my words. Yet I couldn’t help but believe she would hate me for being weak, hate me for not telling her it was me all along that was talking to her, hate me for them hating her for what I did.
“Lycus, go for a run,” Darius snarled, making me jump when he ripped Lycus off the bed just as Lycus shifted into his gigantic black wolf. His claws ripped apart the rug as he skidded along it.
Tobias clucked his tongue while Darius glared at him and pointed at the door. Ryze hissed and squawked at at the huge werewolf. Lycus’s anger grew, and his werewolf instincts took over, making him savage. No longer in control, he lunged at Ryze, but Darius snatched him off the back of the armchair before his powerful jaws wrapped around the bird.
Tobias pointed to the door, and Lycus growled, his claws scratching the floor up. Lycus pivots and runs out the door when Tobias moves with inhuman speed and opens it.
“What’s wrong with him?” I asked. He didn’t usually lose control like that.