“Why?” I ask confused, Darian is with me constantly unless I shove him out.
“Because I hurt her. Being there is a constant reminder of what Kade did to us. Lily likes to put on a front and I know you think I don’t know much but I can tell she is depressed; she always has been. Why do you think she gets shitfaced all the time?”
“To control you” I tell her honestly.
“No, well yeah, she thinks it does. But that’s not the real reason. She gets like that, so she doesn’t have to feel, doesn’t have to relive it and won’t dream about it. She sleeps better with you near her, your scent comforts her” Layla says, and I realise maybe none of us really know Lily. Everyone always tells her what they want and need from her, what is expected of her and yet no one asks if she is ok.
“Is that why she left?” Layla nods before looking at me.
“I offered to take over. It worried me she would hurt herself. I just didn’t think she would abandon me. And by the time I felt her leaving I couldn’t force her back” Layla says and I can see the guilt in her eyes. Feel it through the bond. She feels guilty for not stopping her. Darian whines loudly in my head, wanting to comfort her.
Layla gets up and I watch as she leaves the kitchen.
“Where are you going?”
“To shower, this skin is fucking itchy, and the blood is making it worse” She says. I follow her and turn the shower on, knowing she probably won’t figure it out. Layla strips off and stands under the water. She is definitely comfortable in this skin, as she has no care that I am watching.
“You forget Damien, we are the most primal side, Layla wants what Lily wants and vice a Versa. Just Layla isn’t held back from the restraints you humans are self-conscious of” Darian says.
Stripping off, I step under the water with her. I feel her eyes trail up and down my body and for once I feel my face blush under her gaze, never have I felt so bare before as she literally looked at every inch of me.
“You done?” I ask, as her eyes meet mine.
“Sorry” She says, passing me the soap. We quickly wash and get out. When we get in bed though. Layla lays her head on my chest and I relax. Only suddenly she sits up before climbing on top of me. “Layla, what are you doing” I ask and she leans down and kisses me.
I try to tell her to stop. Pulling her face back to mine. I kiss her before rolling her on to her back and pushing my weight on her. Pulling back with my arms on either side of her head, I look down at her as she inhales my scent, lifting her head up, she runs her nose across the crook of my neck to my chin.
“Lily, won’t forgive Layla if she takes this from her Damien, make her stop” Darian says even though I could tell he wants nothing more, yet he loves Lily. She is our mate, so is Layla, but this isn’t Layla’s form to do as she pleases with.
“Layla, we can’t do this, not without, Lily”
“I know and I wouldn’t do that to her, but thanks for assuming I would” She rambles on for a bit under her breath and Darian feels bad which seeps into me making me feel bad for upsetting her.
“Well, you read that wrong” I tell Darian.
“Nothing wrong with placing boundaries, at least while the rational part of her isn’t here” Darian answers.
“She seems more rational,” I tell him.
“I think she is just hollow without Lily at the moment, don’t let your guard down. After seeing everything downstairs, what she is capable of. It worries me,” Darian answers.
“She seems fine”
“Yeah, but what happens if Lily doesn’t come back for a while. I know Layla won’t cope. She isn’t safe in her own mind without Lily, just as Lily isn’t safe without her. Just imagine what it would be like if you only heard silence” He says.
I pull Layla over to me and wrap my arm around her, hugging her tight, and I feel her breathing even out and her muscles relax at my closeness as she falls asleep. Darian is right, I would go stir crazy without him and it would be so lonely in my head without him. This must feel so foreign to Layla not having Lily’s guidance. I just hope Lily is surviving without her. Because after speaking to Layla, one thing I realised is Lily needs help.
Chapter 34
Layla POV
My anger bubbled under the surface, building up while I watched the minutes tick by, ever so slowly. Seconds turning to minutes, minutes to hours when finally, I heard it and all that anger and hatred I felt in this moment was a ticking time bomb about to burst. Lily's last thought of how she betrayed her, made my hair stand on end. They kept this from her, kept Kade from her, and she felt betrayed.
Me on the other hand, felt nothing but pure hatred. Maybe if I got a better understanding of what she was feeling, I wouldn’t have done it. Wouldn’t have thought revenge for Lily was what she would have wanted. Lily loved Aria, I realise that now, realise this was Aria protecting her. But the moment she stepped through the front door; I didn’t see that. I saw nothing but red, fiery red-hot anger.
Damien was talking to her. Yet I couldn’t focus on what they were saying, only focus on the feeling that was bubbling and spilling over the sides. A storm within me raging and setting every cell in my body alight with rage.
Her voice washed over me, smashing into me full force and I exploded. Lunging straight for her throat. We crashed straight through the front door and tumbled down the stairs. I watched as she got up, shaking herself off, as she commanded me to stop, her Alpha voice ringing loudly to submit.