“I can already imagine you with our child,” I say, and he turns to me with a pleased smile. “You will be a wonderful dad.”
“Thank you,” Abram says. “I think you’ll make a great mom, too.”
I laugh softly and drop my head on his shoulder.
We sit in silence again, our gazes fixated on the television, but my mind is far from the weather forecast.
It’s been days, and I still can’t seem to find a way to broach the topic that’s been on my mind.
How do I get him to open up about his past?
I want to mend the rift between Brenda and Abram. Of course, it’ll hurt. It’ll feel like ripping bandages off a fresh wound despite being a wound from the distant past, but I’ve got to try at least.
I love Abram and Brenda, and I can’t bear to watch them alienated from each other any longer.
“Hey, honey,” Abram calls softly, drawing my attention from the television.
“Hmm?” I murmur, smiling up at him.
“You look bothered,” he says, searching my face. “Something on your mind?”
I sigh softly and sit up to face him.
“It’s about your relationship with Brenda,” I say in a hesitant tone. “I know it’s none of my business, but I can’t ignore the subject any longer. She’s your sister.”
“Step-sister,” Abram corrects in a frigid tone.
“Nevertheless, she’s family,” I say with a deep sigh. “She loves you. That much is obvious.”
“You’re my only family,” Abram says, stubbornly shaking his head.
“Me, yes,” I say to him, hoping he’d understand my point of view. “Together with your mom, sister, and little niece, Ella. What’s wrong with all of us being one big happy family? They’re waiting for you.”
“I’ve been alone for too long, Mel,” Abram says, shaking his head slowly. “Ever since I was four...I don’t understand how this works. Until I met you, I never believed in family or love. I waited too, Mel. I waited for my mom to protect me from the beast she married.”
“Can you....” I clear my throat softly. “Will you talk to me about it?”
Abram goes silent for a long time, and just when I think he won’t respond he sighs and raises his eyes to mine.
My heart breaks at the pain I see in the depths of his eyes.
“It didn’t start out that way, you know. Dad used to be a good man. I don’t know much about how he got pulled into the mud, and I don’t care to find out, but I think it all started when he lost his job and got caught up in debt.
“He started to drink heavily, and the rest is history.” He sighs heavily and continues, “I was most disappointed in my mom, and I still am. She made me watch her get knocked around when I couldn’t do anything to defend her. She could have stood up for herself...for us. She could have reported him to the cops, instead, she covered up for him whenever the neighbors called in the violence. I’d have understood if she held back from fear, but that wasn’t it.
“She held on to a vain hope of restoring the love they once shared. Unfortunately, those old feelings made her blind to the monster he’d become. She was so focused on winning her husband’s heart that she forgot she even had a son to think about. It made me think that none of them wanted me in the first place.
“By the time she came to her senses, the best she could do was run away. I was too old to care at that point,” he scoffs dryly. “I was fifteen, for crying out loud. I could have escaped that hellhole alone, but I couldn’t leave her behind. Despite everything, she’s still my mother, and I came to realize early on that she made bad choices. Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t resent my mother. The most I feel is disappointment toward her.”
“Anyway, shortly after we left our home in Colorado, Mom met Harry. Brenda’s dad was a good man. He took me as a son. He really did make an effort to make me feel a sense of belonging, but it was too late. I’d lost hope in all of humanity, and the only thing I cared about was myself. I believed I was the only one that could look out for me.
“I got out at the first opportunity. I’d won an online art competition, and the prize money was enough for a flight ticket to London with some change left to last me for about a month if I managed well. I hustled my way up with the cynical view I had of life. It’s why I never gave anyone the chance to really get close to me. I thought then that no one would ever have the power to hurt me like my parents did. Until I met you….”
A soft hiccup escapes my throat, startling us both.
“I’m so sorry,” I say with a small sniff.
“Honey, are you crying?” Abram asks, blinking at me in surprise.