Next to him, the puppy whined. The black dog nudged his head under Kevin’s hand, leaning against his leg. Kevin stroked the animal’s soft, silky fur, and the tight snarl of emotion unknotted a little. He made himself take a deep, steadying breath, trying to think.
One possibility leaped out at him, and a fresh jolt of alarm twisted his stomach. “Are you working for the unseelie? Because if you are, I’ll scream for help right now.”
“Great Herne, no. I swear by all the goddesses that I am not here to steal you back for the unseelie.” Aodhan cocked his head, shooting him a curious look. “You prefer Ferghal’s court to Maeve’s, then?”
“I don’t remember anything about the unseelie. I just don’t want to keep getting bounced back and forth.” His throat tightened. He’d sworn never to show weakness in front of any fae, yet he couldn’t help his voice wobbling. “If the unseelie took me back, they’d wipe my memory yet again. I don’t know if I’d even be the same person, after. If… if I am still the same person.”
“No glamour can change who you are.” Aodhan spoke with low, intent focus. He leaned forward, sounding so utterly certain that some of the cold, sick fear in Kevin’s chest melted away. “Your memories are not gone. All the experiences that have shaped you—they are still there, though your conscious mind cannot reach them at the moment. That is why you feel things that you cannot explain. Why you know, deep down, that this is not where you belong.”
Kevin swallowed. “Where do I belong?”
“Only you can answer that question.” Aodhan fixed Kevin with that piercing blue stare. “But I can help you, if you agree.”
Kevin eyed him, a twinge of suspicion creeping back. “Why would you do that?”
“So I can return to my peaceful library and get back to my reading,” Aodhan snapped. “Herne’s balls. Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to look a gift alicorn in the mouth?”
“If you want me to trust you, you’re going to have to do better than that.” Kevin folded his arms. “This could still all be a trap. Maybe you’re just trying to get me to cooperate so that you can lay an even stronger glamour on me.”
Aodhan heaved an exaggerated sigh, though there was a hint of approval in his expression. “You are just as obstinate as I was warned to expect. And suspicious, which is another excellent trait to possess. Very well. Bearing in mind that we must avoid certain topics, what proof of my good intentions would you accept?”
Kevin wracked his brain, trying to come up with something. “Tell me why you want to help me. No evasions. Tell me the real truth.”
Aodhan didn’t answer for a moment. He looked down at the stacks of books, running his fingers along the edges.
“Because,” he said at last, in a new, softer tone, quite at odds with his severe appearance, “I want to see her smile. Not in a brief, fleeting moment, between grief and worry, but with her whole heart. I would give anything to see her filled with joy at last.”
The quiet words rang in that hollow space in Kevin’s own heart. An echo of the same longing filled him, though he couldn’t have said why.
Kevin shook his head, caution warring with emotion. “And why does she care so much what happens to me?”
“That is another question that you must answer for yourself.” Aodhan straightened a stack of books, abruptly all brusque business again. “Now, you must make a choice, Kevin. Ferghal brought us here to fix the glamours laid on you. That is precisely what I intend to do. But I will not work magic on you without your permission. Will you give me your consent?”
Kevin hesitated. “But Ferghal wants me brainwashed so that I’ll do whatever he says. So that I know my place, as he calls it.”
“Indeed.” One side of Aodhan’s mouth curled up. “And I can promise that if I am successful, there will be no doubt in your mind as to where you truly belong.” His smile faded, his expression turning serious once more. “Will you trust me?”
Kevin took a deep breath, and nodded. “When do we start?”
Aodhan stood, drawing a wand from his belt. “Right now.”