CHAPTER21
I’ve misunderstood him, Cathy tried to tell herself. Of course he doesn’t mean that. He actually means… means…
But she couldn’t think of what else Aodhan might mean. Not with him standing there, hands tense, eyes gone dark. He looked like he did when he worked magic… except that intent, powerful will wasn’t turned inward. All his focus was fixed on her, as though she were magic. Like he would speak her name as a spell, summoning the very heart of her; call her into his hands, and turn her to fire.
But she had to have misunderstood. The alternative didn’t make any sense. Cathy did her best to get a grip on herself, despite the thunder of her pulse.
“Um, sure,” she said, attempting a casual tone. “I mean, if you’ve changed your mind about the chair, and want to share the bed, then—”
“That is not what I want,” he said. There was an edge to his voice that she’d never heard before; a rough, primal need. “Cathy, I want to touch you, intimately, learning every way to give you pleasure. I want to drive into you and hear you cry out my name in ecstasy. I want you.”
There was no misunderstanding that. Her body responded with shocking enthusiasm. She was abruptly so aroused, she was sure Aodhan must be able to see it steaming from her like a heat haze.
If he did, he gave no sign. He was standing very straight, watching her as if his life hung on her slightest movement.
She swallowed hard. “Aodhan, I—”
“Wait.” Aodhan’s hands clenched on the back of the chair like it was all that was stopping him from drowning. “Let me speak first. This must be very clear. No matter what does or does not happen tonight, I will continue to aid you in any way I can, to my dying breath. There are no debts between us, for you have already given me more than you can ever know. If my advances are unwelcome, then simply say so and I will never speak of this again. But…”
Aodhan faltered, his voice cracking. He looked down at his hands, white-knuckled on the back of the chair.
“But you have never treated me as less than a man,” he said, very softly. “So I thought—perhaps you might see me as one in this way, too. That you might be able to desire me in return.”
“Yes,” she whispered, and she saw Aodhan draw in a sharp breath. “I do. But—Aodhan, I don’t belong in your world, and you have your own life here. There’s no future in this.”
“I know.” Letting go of the chair, he moved toward her; slowly, as though she was a wild animal, or a dream. “That’s why I dare to ask. I know that once we have found your son, you will go back home. I will return to my library, and all will be as it was before. I do not seek to change that.”
He was so close now. Cathy couldn’t move, held by those intense blue eyes as if bound by magic. His leather-and-paper scent filled her lungs as he leaned in.
“But ever since our eyes met, I have not been able to look away,” Aodhan whispered. He lifted a hand, his fingertips tracing the curve of her cheek, not quite making contact. She still felt it all the way to her core. “You fill my senses and consume my mind. I burn for you, Cathy, with every beat of my heart. And though our paths must forever part, we are here, together, now.”
Very gently, he tipped her face up. Cathy’s pulse thundered in her ears. All her awareness narrowed to the scant few inches separating her lips from his.
“Tell me you want this.” Aodhan’s voice roughened. She could feel him shaking, every muscle in his body tight with the effort of holding back. “No ties. No obligations. Tell me you want me, of your own free will, as fiercely as I want you.”
And she could. The realization hit her like lightning, shocking and sudden. Because Aodhan was right. There was no future in this. Whatever happened tonight, it wouldn’t affect her son. Couldn’t affect him.
She could choose for herself, freely, without needing to put Kevin’s needs first. Here, in this moment, she was a woman rather than a mother.
“Yes.” She stretched up to Aodhan, letting herself go. “Yes.”
It was like the word released him from a spell. His mouth captured hers, hard and hot and desperate. She kissed him back with just as much hunger, dizzy with freedom.
Aodhan’s strong, clever hands tangled in her hair, pulling her closer against him. She gripped his shoulders, glorying in the hard swell of muscle. Never breaking the kiss, she slid her palms higher, discovering the strong column of his neck, the slight roughness of his jaw—and the sharp, slanted point of his ear.
A thrill went through her at that unmistakable sign of his difference. She ran her finger along those alien contours and felt Aodhan jerk against her.
“Goddesses.” He caught her hand, chest heaving for breath. “If you do that, woman, this is going to be over before we even begin. Let’s at least try to make it to the bedroom.”
Stepping back, he drew her through the curtained doorway. Beyond was just a small, simple room, barely big enough for a low bed frame. The only illumination came from the fading fire behind them, back in the main room. When Aodhan let the curtain across the doorway fall into place, even that small light was snuffed out, leaving them in darkness.
That was just fine by Cathy, considering that her body had never exactly been toned to perfection even before childbirth. Aodhan, however, had other ideas. She felt him frown against her lips, then murmur a soft, liquid word. Motes of light glimmered around his fingertips, drifting up to cluster on the ceiling like constellations of stars.
“I want to see you.” His fingers slipped under the collar of her dressing gown, making her breath catch. “I want to see all of you.”
“Wait,” she gasped, and his hand stopped immediately. Every nerve in her body cried out in frustration, but she forced herself to step back. “Before we go any further, we should talk about birth control.”
Aodhan stared at her as though she’d asked if he’d packed a latex catsuit and a gimp mask. “You want a child?”