“You’re amazing,” he told her.
“I’m horrible, but I love you.” Her eyes widened as she realized what she’d said. Everything but Joshua’s blue eyes widening with hope and awe faded into the background. Jade thought it might be true. She did love him. She couldn’t go there. Not until Joshua fully trusting her was resolved. “I mean … I love you for helping me make a shot. Like love that you did that for me.”
She pulled away and glanced desperately around. “Climbing wall?”
Joshua’s face was filled with disappointment but he took her hand and said, “Sure.”
They went to the activity window where a cute girl from California, the first employee of the ship Jade had met from the States besides some of the entertainment staff, started outfitting them with shoes and the harnesses. Her heart was racing from telling Joshua she loved him but now as she put the gear on and looked up, up, up at the wall children and teenagers and the random adult were scrambling up, fear ratcheted her heart again.
They walked over to wait in line, the harness making her shorts and rear look funny. Joshua turned to her, his brow furrowed. “I, um, forgot about your fear of heights, with, uh, you know, after the basketball …” His voice trailed off.
Jade thought it was so endearing to see him off his game. “I’ll be okay,” she reassured him but she was scared.
“The harness will hold you, and watch.” He pointed to an older boy who’d reached the top, rung the bell, and then fell back and the cables lowered him easily back to the deck. “So you just lay back after you reach the top. You’re so fit, you’ll be great at this. Try to use your legs more, most people use their arms too much.”
She nodded, as if she was listening. Apprehensively, she watched each climber and tried to think how to mimic what they were doing. Her stupid slip of the tongue after basketball and all her other worries were put on the backburner, for a minute.
One of the three spots came open. Joshua gestured for her to go first. She shook her head quickly. “You go. I want to watch the expert.”
He smiled but she could see he was worried about her. “Okay. Watch and learn.” He winked.
Striding over to the wall, the instructor clipped him in and then Joshua scrambled up the wall like a monkey. He was so tall and lean she watched him skip handholds that others had to use. He would push off and leap to the next spot. It was incredible watching his muscles work in synchrony.
“Your turn, ma’am.” The instructor indicated an open wall.
She wanted to claim she was watching Joshua but he reached the top, rang the bell and laid back, already floating down. He waved to her. Jade walked on unsteady legs to the spot the instructor indicated.
He clipped her in and stepped back. Jade waited for some kind of instruction.
“You can go,” he said.
Joshua was unclipped and headed her way.
“I’m sorry, sir, you have to step over there,” the instructor said.
Joshua obeyed but called to her. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She tried to paste on a brave smile. Turning to the wall she muttered, “Don’t look down.” Then she grabbed the closest hand holds and started pulling herself up. It was surprisingly easier than she had imagined, and exhilarating to climb. She remembered Joshua’s instructions about using her legs and pushed herself up with her legs, looking for handholds for her hands. Her hands stopped trembling and she felt tough and cool as she ascended the wall. Nowhere near as fast as Joshua, not a tenth as fast, but she was doing it.
She could hear Joshua cheering for her and she glowed. She was conquering her fear of heights. Jumping off those small cliffs had helped and now she was doing even better. Before she truly registered that she’d done it, she looked up and there was the top and the bell to ring. She rang it and then she looked down. It had to be over fifty feet down. She was going to fall … and die.
Everything froze. She was pretty sure even her heart froze.
“Let go and lean back,” Joshua called.
“I can’t,” she muttered.
“Let go,” more people were yelling now.
She looked down again and clung tighter to her handholds on the wall. She was so high. Her entire body was trembling. Glancing around desperately for Joshua, she could see him down there, calling to her. She met his gaze and felt a surge of power go through her. She could do this, but she definitely couldn’t let go.
She started scrambling down the wall, moving fast as she was going down instead of up. People were still yelling at her to let go but she ignored them all and climbed down as fast as she possibly could. As soon as her feet touched the ground her legs gave out. She crumpled to the mat.
The instructor was right there. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said, embarrassed but so shaky she couldn’t stand.
Joshua ran to her. He gently helped her up and waited as the instructor undid her clip then Joshua swept her into his arms and against his chest.