He exhaled slowly. “I didn’t realize you never knew.”
“I didn’t know a thing about him. My mom never told me, or left any written information. She died of a heroin overdose when I was eight.”
“Jesus. I’m so sorry, Tori. I don’t know much about your early life or your family,” he admitted, pulling her onto his lap and kissing her forehead. “I never want to pry, but you know I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
Her heart twisted, and she leaned into him. Talking about her childhood wasn’t something she usually did. Kris was pretty much the only friend who knew about it all.
And yet, the idea of opening up to James seemed almost cathartic.
The past few weeks had brought them closer together. It wasn’t just about the sex. In fact, it felt kind of wrong to evencallit sex anymore.
As cheesy as it sounded, they were connecting on a deeper level. It was always how she’d imagined making love felt. When it wasn’t just all primal and fun. They were learning each other’s quirks and needs. Where the stakes felt raised.
Slowly, that wall around her heart had begun to crack, and in the last few weeks, James had seeped in.
So the idea of telling him about her past seemed a little easier. Natural.
“I don’t have a family,” she began. “My mom had no relatives that could be located. As far as I knew, my dad didn’t even know I existed.” She grimaced. “Or maybe that was wishful thinking. Either way, I was alone and got dumped into the foster care system.”
He stroked her hair. “Damn, Tori, that’s brutal.”
“It’s not like I had awful foster parents, and nothing terrible ever happened to me. I guess I was lucky in that aspect, because I know not everyone is. But I was shuffled around from foster family to foster family.”
“I’m sorry.”
“They were nice, though some understandably burnt out with the system. And none of these families had the itch to adopt me.”
James’s chest rose heavily, and his arms tightened around her. Though he didn’t say anything, she could feel the sympathy radiating from him. He grazed her temple with his lips again.
She nestled closer, loving the security and reassurance of his embrace.
“My biggest constant was your sister.” The heavy topic lifted a bit as she thought of her best friend. “I ended up staying with one foster family all through my high school years, which, as fate would have it, placed me at the same school as Kris.”
“I’ll be eternally grateful for that,” James admitted. “Not just because I might not have met you otherwise, but knowing that you had Kris—someone who loved you and would go to battle for you.”
“She’s amazing. Ninth-grade Kris was petite and shy at first, but she took me under her wing like a tiny protective Chihuahua.”
That had James laughing along with her. “That’s a pretty good description of my sister.”
Tori smiled. “Anyway, I left foster care at eighteen. I could’ve stayed in until twenty-one, since that’s a thing now. But I wanted to escape the system. Kris and your parents told me I was always welcome at their house, and it became the safety net I needed to step out on my own.”
“You never took them up on it? I know they would’ve loved to help you.”
“No.” She hesitated. “I didn’t want to be a burden. That’s what I’d felt like all those years. But I managed pretty well on my own.”
“That’s an understatement. You’re doing absolutely amazing, Tori.”
Would he still think that if he knew just how she’d survived?
There were still things James didn’t know. Things she should tell him at some point. But not today.
She’d already unloaded her soul enough for one day and already it had left her emotional reservoir drained.
Plus, there was the deep-down fear that once she told him, he might not want her anymore.
“I’m sorry you had it so rough growing up.” He stroked her hair. “So damn sorry. I can’t imagine what it was like.”
“I guess if it taught me one thing, it’s that I learned pretty early on that you can’t get attached to anyone. Not the parents. Not the other kids in the house.” She gave a soft sigh. “Which, disclaimer, is why I kind of suck at relationships now.”