“I don’t know about great.” I laugh. “Ember has a lot to do with it. Amelia really likes her.”
“Must run in the family.”
Yeah, I walked right into that one.
“Will you drop it already? There is nothing going on between Ember and me.” I pick up the file and pretend to peruse it, hoping he gets the hint and leaves me alone about it—or preferably, just leaves altogether.
“There’s nothing wrong with you liking her.”
“What are you, a fucking matchmaker now?” I swear, since he met Charlie, he’s on this kick about everyone finding love. What he seems to forget is some of us have already been down that road.
And once was more than enough.
“All I’m saying…”
I tune out the rest. It’s been the same shit for two weeks. He’s like a damn broken record. Instead, I allow my mind to wander to places it shouldn’t—Ember this morning with Amelia, Ember lying in my bed.
Ember leaving.
That part right there, even if I was willing to risk it, is why I can’t.
Walking away from me is one thing.
But I can’t do anything to risk her walking away from Amelia.
“I hear ya,” I tell Mark when I finally no longer hear his voice. “I’m just not ready.”
“Then at least do the rest of us a favor.”
I look up from the file at him. “What’s that?”
“Go get laid. You’ve been kind of a dick lately.”
I pick up the stress ball off my desk, but he manages to duck out of the room before it makes contact.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
Ember
A quick fuck, a way to relax. That’s all my night with Ryder was supposed to be. Only, instead of good sex, the man rocked my world in ways I can’t describe—or forget. There was freedom and hope in all of it. That’s why I walked away like I did. I needed to remove myself from the situation before it made me want more than I could have.
Everything was great until, like a fool, I took a job working for the man. Not only working for him but living with him. Now I’m stuck having to face him every day. A constant reminder of what I can’t have. I even went on a date the other night with one of the guys Officer Joe works with. Hazel thought it might help distract me, and I was desperate to get Ryder out of my head. Fun. Freedom. No commitment. That was the plan. The whole time I was out with Robbie what’s-his-name, all I could think about was Ryder. How much easier it had been to talk and laugh with him the night we met.
Robbie really pulled out all the stops for the date—flowers, fancy restaurant—still, nothing compared to Ryder… or Amelia. It was my first night away from her, and I missed her and our evening together, especially nights like tonight. Ryder is working late, and Amelia and I are watching Encanto for what feels like the millionth time since I became her nanny. The movie practically plays on repeat. I’m curled up on the couch, watching her dance around the room.
“Dance with me,” she pleads.
Just like her father, she has those green eyes that pull me in and the dimples that ensure I can’t say no.
“Please, Ember.” Amelia’s hands tug mine, urging me to join her.
“Okay, okay,” I give in, moving off the couch. I follow her lead, my arms waving in the air as I sway my hips to the beat. The music is catchy, I’ll give them that. It’s been so long since I danced, and I have to admit, it’s cathartic.
I try not to think about my past—about home—because it either leaves me with a bitter taste or sad memories. Here with Amelia, the music touches my soul, and it feels good.
It feels right.
Just like being here with Amelia and Ryder does.