“That’s never going to happen.” I nod toward her plate. “Come on, let’s finish dinner so we can watch that movie of yours.”
“Can we have ice cream with the movie?”
“Kid, you can have whatever you want.”
CHAPTERTWELVE
Ryder
When I walk in, Mark is standing at the reception desk, talking to Margie.
“This is becoming a habit,” he says.
“What is?” I attempt to stifle my yawn, but it’s useless. I’m too tired and delirious to play his little games today.
“You… looking like shit.” Mark chuckles.
“Must run in the family,” I say, giving him a slight shove as I walk past him. “Asshole.”
“Fatherhood a little more than you bargained for?” He follows me to my office.
I’m not sure what I expected being a father would be like, but he just made the understatement of the year. It’s been two weeks since Amelia moved in with me, and I feel like I’m still floundering. We can’t seem to get into a routine, which with my military background, is hard for me. Then there’s work and trying to make up for lost time. I have to make all this up to her. When I do finally have a moment, I make calls and scramble for babysitters.
I’m exhausted. While I was trying to hide it, clearly, it shows. While I feel it, and maybe even look it, I hope it isn’t taking a toll on my work. I’ve taken on every case they’ve thrown my way and excelled at every one of them. I hope.
Lucky for me, Amelia seems completely oblivious to my lack of parenting skills. She walks around blissfully, spending plenty of time in her own room with her Barbie dolls. In fact, I think that’s what got her—her own room. To her, everything seems right as rain, as it should. Me, I’m just scrambling to make it all work.
“I didn’t even know what to expect. It sure as hell wasn’t this, though. The constant worry, how hard it is. Christ, it’s so hard to be everything all at once. Like fucking impossible kind of hard.”
“That’s just it, man. You don’t have to be everywhere all the time. I know you don’t want to hear this, Mr. Superhero, but you need some help. Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, it takes a village to raise a kid?”
“Believe me, I know I need help.”
The problem is, with Amelia, I have a hard time trusting anyone. If Dorothy wasn’t so ill, she would be the obvious choice, but she can’t handle taking care of Amelia on her own anymore. That’s why she sought me out.
“You and Jackson going to open up a daycare here?” I ask.
“Christ, could you imagine that? Like a little Army boot camp?”
I chuckled at the picture his words created in my mind. A bunch of toddlers marching in place, wearing little uniforms. Mark shouting at them to drop and give him twenty.
“That’s better.” He pats me on the back. “While that’s not going to happen, would getting a nanny for Amelia be such a terrible idea?”
“I’m not opposed to the idea, but she’s been through so much. I need someone I can trust. Someone I know won’t abandon her.”
Mark's hand rests on my shoulder. “You’re her constant now. You’re the one she needs, but if you keep burning the candle at both ends, you’re eventually going to burn out. Then what good will you be to her?”
“You’re right. Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll get Amelia a nanny.”
“Excellent.” Mark rubs his hands together. “Now, don’t you worry about anything. I’ll handle everything. We’ll have candidates lined up out the door.”
“Good candidates,” I say, my finger poking his chest.
“Seriously? Look around you. We have the best resources out there. We can run the most extensive background check. I’ve got this.”
At least he’s right about that part. It’s the look in his eyes I don’t trust.
He’s up to something. I just don’t know what.