“Want isn’t the issue. Trust is.”
“You don’t have to trust him. You just have to fuck him.”
Having been with someone controlling and emotionally abusive, it’s not easy to get close to people. Hazel was a no-brainer, but this guy? I barely know his name. Not to mention, a guy like him could do some serious irrevocable damage to my heart.
“Are you worried you’ll be bad?” Hazel asks.
“What? No.” That’s a lie. A piece of me is afraid of that, considering Devlin is the only man I’ve ever been with. The biggest issue is me, though. I’m afraid I’ll make another mistake, let in another man that is only going to hurt me.
“I’m scared. I mean, I don’t even know this guy.”
“You didn’t know me either, and look how well that worked out.” She sighs. “Why not just go out there and have fun. Talk to him, get to know him, then decide if you want it to go anywhere.” She walks over to the door. “One thing I know for sure, we can’t hide in here forever.”
Ugh. She’s right. I can’t hide. It’s not like I have to hook up with this guy. There is no obligation in him buying me a drink.
Just relax, Ember. Have fun. Squaring my shoulders, I join her at the door.
“Let’s have some fun.”
“That’s my girl.”
We walk back to the bar. Ryder is still standing here, his beer bottle at his lips.
“I was afraid you ran off.”
“Just needed to powder my nose.” I look around for the drink he ordered me. I could really use some liquid courage right about now.
“No drink?”
“I asked the bartender to wait until you got back.” I nod, grateful for his kind gesture. “About earlier. I—”
“It’s fine, really.”
“No, it isn’t. I made you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry.”
A moment later, the bartender returns and pours my drink.
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “Really, you didn’t. I just…”
“Can we just talk? Get to know each other?”
“I’d like that,” I say. “So… what do you do, Ryder?”
“I was recently discharged from the military. I was a Navy Seal for years, and now I work for a security company.”
“Sounds dangerous.”
“Until my knee fully heals, not really.”
“Injured in war?”
“I wish. It would be a much less embarrassing story.”
“This I have to hear.”
Ryder recounts the story of the military football game and the tackle that messed up his knee. The bad injury was actually a blessing. He found out he has a degenerative disease. If his knee failed out in the field, he could have been a liability to his team. So, he opted to leave the Seals. I could tell by the look in his eyes, it had been a tough decision, one he’s still struggling with.
“What about you?” he asks.