Chapter 2
Anatonia
In the time since I’ve been guarding Posy, I’ve confronted Natale for trying to keep her from everything, but I get it. I too want to protect her. But I know it’s selfish to keep her in the house all the time. She needs to attend school and have a life. She’s started speaking more, even to me.
But what she awoke in me is tearing at my nerves. The monsters are so close to the surface. I need to get away before I blow up. Before I hurt someone I care about. I need to find a willing body to fuck for a night. To relieve this pent-up energy and pain. At that thought, the image of the man from the courthouse flashes in my mind. I picture his large body hovering over mine as he powers into me.
I close my eyes for a moment to get my head in the game. I need to focus on Posy. We make our way into her art class. There’s something about this room. The smells bring back the memories more. The schools I attended in the past never had extra-curricular classes. We just learned more or worked harder. Posy starts working on a piece, and I stand back and let her do her thing. I know that my presence soothes and calms her.
As her charcoal scratches across the paper, a memory flashes across my eyes.
The cold from the floor seeps into my young body. My clothes are shredded. My shirt is ripped open, exposing my just forming breasts. They are marked up with teeth marks and bruises. I shiver and the pain between my legs intensifies. I can feel the blood oozing from there. From the men pushing their bodies into mine. Taking from me what my twelve-year-old body wasn’t prepared to give.
No tears roll from my eyes. I just stare at the stone wall of the dungeon room. I’ve been down here many times, but this was the first time they’ve done this to me. When I screamed for him to help me, he just watched. He told them they could have me. Grown men fought over who would be my first. Their bloody hands tortured my body.
A scraping sound comes from behind me, and I know the door is being opened but I don’t turn. I lie there ready for them to hurt me more.
“Vstavay, suka,” he yells at me in Russian. Get up, bitch.
I slowly curl my legs under my body and stand up. The skirt from my private school uniform partially hangs from my body.
“Take her from my site,” he says to one of his bratoks, his soldiers. He grabs my arm and I cry out as he squeezes the already bruised and damaged flesh. He strikes me across my beaten face with his free hand. “When you come back to me, you will be trained to do what you were meant to do. You will end this war.” I don’t understand what he means, and he doesn’t say anything further as his bratok drags me away from there.
I shake my head, trying to get the memory to stop. My body shivers and I look over at Posy’s picture. I need to think of anything else but the memory.
“Time doesn’t go quicker because you watch it,” I whisper quietly in her ear as I catch her watching the clock. She hides herself as she normally does behind her hair. She’s pulling a Natale from this morning. Wanting the day to go faster. “He’ll like that.” I draw her attention back to her picture. The image is of Natale. “The love you have for him shines through.”
“Do you think?” Her voice is quiet and still getting used to being used.
She starts packing up so we can get out into the hall before the crowds get to be too much. She looks at me with questions in her eyes, but she’s still unable to ask them. I remember those times. When I found myself with people I could trust yet still not sure I could trust them.
“Ask me when you’re ready.” I know her need for answers, but I’m afraid the questions will cause more pain.
The bell rings and we head out. I feel her being bumped and pushed around from behind me. When a group of boys push her into the lockers, I’ve had enough. Her small hand starts to release the hold on my belt, and I stop so I don’t lose her. I face them, ready to take them down for hurting my charge. I hear Natale before I see him, but I don’t stop taunting the young boys. I’m itching for a fight. However, it wouldn’t be fair to them when I break their bodies. My last memory is still too close to the surface and I will kill any threat that approaches me. Natale reaches down and picks up Posy. I push our way through the crowds and out to my Land Rover.
As soon as we get close to the SUV, I feel the eyes on me. It’s been getting worse, and it’s time to find out what’s going on. Who’s following us? Or me? I take Natale and Posy back to the mansion and park the car in the garage. I get my daily report from the grounds security team and confirm they haven’t seen anyone.
I head through the doors. I know someone is out there watching us, even if my team hasn’t noticed them. I make my way to Capo’s office. I’ve stayed here every night since Posy came to stay with us, but not tonight. Natale and my team can protect her. I need to find out who’s following me and get some rage out of my system.
“Capo.” I give him the respect he deserves. He was my father’s best friend and protected by him, even after the Bratva declared war on them all for not turning him over.
“Ana?” He very rarely calls me by my full name.
He and Maria never ask me what I went through. They never question me about my past and why I stayed away even after I found Valentino at eighteen. I’ve never had to give them an excuse, and I never want to lie to them.
I don’t want to worry him about the person following us because it’s my job to protect them. I swore I would protect them or die doing it.
But the need to get away is too much.
“I need the night off, Capo.”
“Ana, for years I’ve told you to call me Carlo. I believe that a night away would do you some good.” His stare takes me in, and I don’t flinch as others would do.
“Thank you, Capo.” I turn to leave but I’m stopped before I get out the door.
“Ana, you are practically family to us. Your father was like my brother. If you ever need anything, you need but ask.”
I don’t turn around. I don’t cry, but right now all my nerves are shot. “Thank you, Capo.” I continue out of his office.