“This isn't exactly my scene—" I don't offer any other information because I don't want to offend anyone, but if she gathered that this wasn’t my idea of a good time then she already knows what I mean.
“I understand that; three years ago, I said the same thing. I was convinced to come here by my first roommate freshman year. I didn't feel like it was for me, but I figured what the hell, it's worth a shot.” I try not to show how much her words shock me. She seems like the perfect type of person for this life, she's all bright and shiny, full of pep and grace.
“That’s exactly what happened here. I had never considered joining something like this, but Raven said that she was coming, and I figured it couldn't hurt.”
“You aren't the soft color, frilly dress type girl, are you?” She looks at me knowingly and I give a soft laugh.
“Not at all, I had to get a few new outfits—that Raven approved—just to show up today. I hope I haven't offended you and your organization here. My blood just runs a little…” I pause, looking for the right word.
“Darker?” Zoe supplies almost immediately. I nod, and she continues. “I understand that. My childhood is covered in darkness, none of my sisters know the extent of it. They know the parts that I choose to share but they don't need to know everything about my past, they just need to know who I am now.” I think about that, and Zoe gives me the time too.
I don't need to tell anyone things about my past, I can focus on letting them get to know who I am without the club—as soon as I figure that out for myself. It doesn't matter how I grew up, all they care about is who I am, and even though I have done things that haven't always been on the right side of the law, I am a pretty good person.
“You might not think that this is for you. Living like this might be new to you and you might not understand it, but if you take away all the future benefits of being a part of a sorority and just look at the things to gain right now you will see that it could help. I am not going to ask about your past, and neither are any of the sisters. If you are good to us, we will be good to you. Do I like every single one of the girls that are in that house right now? Absolutely not. But there are several in there that I would go to war for in the blink of an eye. There are some girls that I will never speak to again when we leave this school but there are a few that I will want to know my future husband and our future kids. A lot of them will be at all the major milestones of my life, I will want them there. And I get the feeling that you don't have very many people like that in your life. You might not gain a whole lot from joining us, but I can almost guarantee that you will gain me.”
“You don't even know me.” I offer in a soft voice.
“I don't need to. I see you. I see that you don't want to answer questions about your past. I see the scars that sit just below the surface. And I see the fight in you, if you manage to make a true friend in even a handful of sisters, they will be better for knowing you.”
I don't tell her that they might be worse for knowing me. If any of them step into my life, they will have marks on their soul that they were never prepared for. Everything else that she said dances around in my head, I have never had a best friend. I have a few of the brothers that I talk to occasionally, and a few of the other MC brats, but none of them would rush to my hospital bed if I was hurt.
Making myself into a new person will be easier if I truly let myself be without the club and the history that goes with it. Zoe said that they won’t ask, and if anyone does I can work around it and give them an answer that isn’t 100% honest but isn’t a lie.
If I gain nothing else from this situation than one person that I can lean on and tell my secrets to then that should be considered a win, right? Everyone needs someone, and the longer I think about it and look at the girl across from me picking at her nails, I might have just found that person.
Something in her feels familiar to me, I know that I don’t know her, but it’s like our souls are calling to each other.
4
Finley
6 months later
“Finley!!” Raven yells at me while she barrels across the lawn outside the Literature building. When she doesn't start to slow down, I plant my feet and hope that I can at least keep the two of us upright when she crashes into me.
Most people would be surprised to know that I have a fighting chance at standing my ground if Raven runs into me. With her breathtaking five feet and six inches, and the wonderfully plump size 12 ass, I am envious of her body. I know that most people would disagree, but I always wished that I had a more adult body. I never grew past my five-foot frame; I have a decent rack and ass for my size, but they are still small, and I wish I had more.
“We are throwing a ‘Fuck love” party because the booze got confiscated and the hold got put on our valentine’s party!” I am not all that surprised that she raced across campus to tell me that we are getting to have a party again.
Raven was so upset when the party got canceled two weeks ago. I didn't care either way because none of the parties that I have been to here have lived up to the parties back home, but Raven loves any reason to party.She will tell you that she joined ATA for the parties and the connections, in that order.
None of us even got a reason for why the alcohol delivery had been intercepted. One day the school board just put a hold on all parties and wouldn't discuss why, they simply said that the Greek system had been put on temporary probation and we would get notified when it was lifted. Some rumors went around but none of them held, and when the ban was lifted no one would answer any questions as to why it had been put in place to begin with.
I considered calling in a favor but, in the end, I didn't do it because I have spent all these months building myself without the club. If I turn back to them right now just to use their connections and money to get an answer for something this small, I will never get away from it.
Sometimes I feel bad about lying to my sisters, but it was a choice that I made long before I came here.
After I slept with Scar, Pyro, and Bell I came here intending to lose myself in school. I decided that I would throw myself into everything that I could and when I met Raven and landed on Greek Row, I knew I had a choice to make.
Zoe had a huge part in why I made the choice I did—one day I might even tell her that—but there is no telling how much harder this would have been if I didn’t have her and Raven.
I know that being in a sorority looks good on my transcripts and all the girls are so helpful in my classes. I am not a great student but thanks to them I am much better off than I had been at home. It might be for the lack of distraction.
I have been at this school for six months and there is not a man on this campus that could get my attention—it's all tight shorts and polo shirts, way too clean for me—I keep thinking I will get used to it but then I jump and look around when I hear a motorcycle anywhere near me.
Sleeping with the three of them didn't do me as much good as I had hoped. That, and the fact that after I left for the college campus they opened a group chat with me, and even though I typically ignore it during the day, I still check it every night before I go to bed.
I haven't replied to them as often as they want—I know because they bitch about me avoiding them—but sometimes I can't help it.