Mischa meets my gaze, his look long and searching. Finally, he releases Mouse and sighs. “You heard her. Go!”
The girl takes off, slipping between the trees.
In her wake, the silence is so oppressive, like a noose around my throat. I can’t take it.
So like any prisoner sentenced to death, I meet my end with little fanfare.
“I forgive you,” I say thickly.
Seemingly intent on his prey, Mischa doesn’t even acknowledge I’ve spoken. But he’s listening. His shoulders tense with every word.
“And you can sneer and shrug it off. But I do. I refuse to let my life be ruled by petty grudges—”
“Forgiveness.” He grunts as if the concept is too foreign to understand. But, to my shock, when I glance at his face, I don’t find a smirk. He merely sighs, running his fingers through his wild hair. “As you say, Rose.”
“And I want you to know something.” The wind carries my voice to him. I’m too tired to put any effort into the sound myself. I merely mouth the words and hope they escape the prison of my throat. “Something I’ve never told anyone else…” I tilt my head toward the breeze, letting it lick away the dried tears clinging to my skin.
Above, the sky looms a stormy gray. The swirling clouds could be trying to warn me, growing darker by the second. Or maybe the building tempest is just goading me on.You’ve been broken already. What could be worse?
“I don’t know what love is,” I admit. Out loud, it sounds so simple. So pathetic. “I don’t know if I’ve ever loved Robert. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone—not really. Not even my mother… I don’t know what it feels like to worry for someone so much you can’t bear to see them hurt. I don’t know what it’s like to…” I trail off. After licking my lips, I try again, but the words stick in my throat, so stupid. So raw. So desperate. I have to force them out. “I can’t even mourn my own sister the way you can—”
“Are you calling me emotional, Little Rose?” He cuts his gaze in my direction.
“No. But…I’m jealous of you.” I turn away from him as my cheeks catch flame. What am I even saying? “I don’t know,” I say. “I wish I knew what it was like…”
To be so rabid with affection, even as you rip apart anyone stupid enough to desire to get close.
“What it’s like?” he asks.
I flinch as his hand latches onto the back of my scalp and steers me forward. Without warning, he presses me against the bark of a tree, stopping just short of grinding my face against it.
“So that you can manipulate me, Little Rose?” he pants against my shoulder. “Continue to spin your little web?”
I go limp, laughing softly to myself. Of course the bastard can’t let his guard down for a second. Even in the rare instance when I try to lower mine.
“So that I can understand you,” I gasp out to an ant crawling, inches from my cheek. It jolts and changes direction, scurrying away. “All I want is to understand you.”
It’s the only way I will ever beat him at his own game.
“Love?” Mischa echoes. He steps into me, fanning his hands out over my waist. “I’ll tell you a little secret: It’s pain, Rose. It’s wanting someone so fucking much—but you don’t know why. It’s feeling them crawl beneath your goddamn skin. They’re in your head. In your skull. Laughing at you. Taunting you. You want to love?” He laughs and each unsteady cackle sears the flesh of my jaw. “I could fucking drown you in it—”
Nearby, a branch cracks, presumably snapped underfoot, and Mischa pulls away.
“I can hear you,” he calls out to the creeping figure. Grabbing my wrist, he tugs me along as he picks his way between the trees. “Slow down,” he warns, stopping short. He cocks his head, letting his ear pick up the slightest noise. “That’s it. Get your bearings. I still haven’t spotted you. Use this to your advantage. Don’t panic.Think.”
I strain my eyes, hunting for any hint of what he’s sensing. The seconds trickle by painfully slow, but I don’t catch a glimpse of her. Apparently, neither does Mischa.
“Good!” His laugh booms out proudly, a mark of approval. “Verygood.” He resumes his prowling stance and inches forward. “Now, let’s see how long you can keep it up…”