“That’s what I’m told. Jack, did you happen to call my grandmother?”
He sighed and said, “No. I thought about it but then I assumed this was not something you’d want her to know about, given the circumstances. And honestly, it’s not the sort of drama I want to willingly step into.”
There was a knock at the door and when it opened, the same nurse with the rolling station came inside. She pushed it toward Rachel’s bed and offered a smile. “Let’s get that IV out, what do you say?”
Rachel and Jack remained silent as the nurse worked. The nurse seemed to understand that she had walked in on a tense conversation because she didn’t bother with attempting idle chitchat. She did her job, placed a Band-Aid over the injection site, and then made her exit with a polite wave.
“Rachel, you can’t keep doing this,” Jack said as soon as the nurse closed the door.
“I know. But it’s harder to accept than you might think.”
“Oh, no, I think I get it. Look…I have no doubt that you love your daughter and would do anything under the sun to make her happy. But I’ve also seen you at this job for the past six or seven years. I know what it means to you. I know how passionate you are about it. That’s why I haven’t been strict about refusing to work with you. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you to feel like this job is being taken away from you. So I think I do get why you’re hanging on to it so tightly.”
“Jack, I promise you I’m not just being selfish and naïve. Everything I’ve read and everything the doctors have told me indicate that there will come a time during the progress of this thing that I’ll know when it’s time to accept that the end is coming. My body will start to go weak and my mind won’t be as sharp. But I swear, Jack, I just haven’t felt that yet. And I don’t want to…” She stopped long enough to catch her breath, keeping a sob down as everything in her wanted to weep. “I don’t want to stop working on these cases until that day comes.”
“This is the second time you’ve blacked out on the job, Rachel. And that’s not even counting the little car accident a few weeks back.”
“I know,” she said, a bit ashamed. “But I think if we can keep working together like this…and if I can convince Anderson that maybe I was a bit too overzealous in my leave of absence request, I think I have at least a few more cases in me. I can feel it coming on now. And I know I have to take better care of myself. I think I can catch it before it happens now.”
He surprised her by reaching out and taking her hand in his. “I hope that’s true,” he said. “But you also have to understand that every time something like this happens, I feel responsible. Because I know what’s going on with you and by just allowing you to stay on the job, it’s like I’m enabling you. On the other hand, it’s not my place to tell you what to do and it’s certainly not my place to tell Anderson about your health. In other words…my hands are tied.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I just…I need to work some things out and try to get a better grip on this.”
“The bureau has some decent therapists on staff,” Jack said. “Have you thought about speaking to one of them about it? They can’t tell Anderson, either. Doctor-patient confidentiality.”
“Oh my God. Can you see me talking to therapist? I’d probably drive them to quit.” She smiled at her own comment, but there was something in it that stirred a thought. She looked to Jack and pointed at him. “Hey…there’s an idea.”
“What? You going to a therapist?”
“No, not me. I’m thinking about these victims. Who else might know they have these conditions and that they’re on a wait list? We’re talking more than twenty people on a wait list. At least a few of them would probably be seeing a therapist, right?”
“Maybe,” he said, but his widening eyes showed that he thought they might very well be on to something. “But getting that information is going to take some form-filling and a decent amount of time.”
“It would if we went through normal channels,” she said. “But it’s a good thing we’ve got the Life Fulfilled founder and staff physician under our thumb.”