“Are you sure about that, Rachel?” She paused for a moment, as if wondering if she’d gone too far with the comment. But she carried on, maybe thinking that now that the line had been crossed, she may as well forge on. “I don’t fault you for it. You’ve always been career-oriented, and I have no doubt it’s because of what you do—stopping bad people from doing bad things. I can’t imagine the sort of drive that puts into someone.”
Grandma Tate surprised Rachel when she stepped forward and wrapped her in a small, fragile hug. “I’m here for you, doll. I always have been and always will be. Watching after Paige these past few weeks has been some of the happiest days of this latter part of my life. But as for me and you—I’m just worried about you, Rachel. I don’t want your final moments to be out on a case where that thing in your brain decides it’s had enough. If you’re truly coming to the end of your life, I do believe it needs to be with your daughter.”
Rachel said nothing because she didn’t need to say anything. Everything Grandma Tate was saying were things Rachel had thought. She just wished it weren’t so damned hard to step away from her job.
“Now,” Grandma Tate said. “I’ve said what I have to say. But you’re a grown woman, Rachel. You make your own decisions.”
Rachel wiped a few tears away, nodding. “I know. This case Jack is working on now, the victims are—”
“Nope,” Grandma Tate said, interrupting her. “I don’t need to hear about it, nor do I want to. But you do what you think is best for you. Just…well, please don’t forget that there’s a precious little girl back here. She’s doing fine, but she’s going to look back on this time and be very confused if you don’t sort things out soon.”
That said, Grandma Tate gave a quick little nod and excused herself from the kitchen. Rachel sat down at the table by herself and let the words sink in. Nothing Grandma Tate had said was anything new, but hearing them spoken in such a loving way seemed to make it all feel new.
Moments later, when she heard Paige’s footfalls coming back down the stairs, she walked into the living room. Paige was dressed in her pajamas and though she was clearly tired, she was smiling and doing her best to milk every extra minute she could.
After saying goodnight to Grandma Tate, Paige took Rachel by the hand and led her upstairs. As Rachel tucked her in, Paige looked up at her with curious eyes. “Grandma Tate said you went somewhere with Jack…Jack from work. Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“So are you still working?” There was no accusatory tone in her little voice; she was legitimately curious.
“Not like I used to. Jack just needed some help on this one case he’s working on.”
“I bet he’d miss you if you stopped all the time.”
“Yeah, I think he would, too.” She hugged Paige close and snuggled into the curve of her little neck and shoulders.
“So don’t make him lonely,” Paige said.
“Jack will be okay. Besides…don’t you want me here?”
“I mean…sure, yeah. But can’t you still help him when I’m in school? You like your job, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“So then do it,” she said, giggling. “Don’t be silly. But you and Grandma Tate could just stay here all day if you want.”
“Yeah, and what would we do?”
“I dunno. Play games…drink tea.”
They giggled together at this and Rachel ended up not being able to leave her daughter’s side. After a while, Paige fell asleep, her little snores like the purring of a cat. Rachel kissed her daughter’s forehead and even then still could not bring herself to leave her side.
So she lay there for a moment, not at all surprised that Paige’s words were carrying more weight than those from Grandma Tate.
“But can’t you still help him when I’m in school? You like your job, don’t you?”
Rachel lay there for a long time in the gloom of Paige’s room. She thought of Jack and of the two victims they’d come across—of how their already shortened lives had become drastically shorter. They’d been robbed of moments like these, with children and other loved ones, moments where they could process and find peace.
And, job or not, what sort of human being would she be if she turned a blind eye to that?