Silence.
I picked up my purse and reached for my bags. Loaded down I looked at him. He hadn't moved.
“I was going to say goodbye,” I said defensively.
Nothing. Jesus, I was so over this.
I dropped a bag. “What?” I waited. Nothing.Screw you Colton.Thiswas exactly why I was leaving.
“I have to go,” I collected my things and started moving. I looked right at him as I got to the door. I waited. He moved to the side. To let me pass. A sharp pang sliced through me. I didn’t let it show.
As I walked past him, he caught my arm, bringing me to a halt. I looked at him and waited.
“If you are too angry to talk to me, there’s no point holding me back,” I snapped. His grip tightened minutely. I narrowed my eyes at the slight increase in pressure. “Please, just let me go,” I looked down at my shoes in defeat. “Please Colton.”
“You’re leaving…for him?” he asked me softly.
“No.” My chest constricted. “I am leavingwithhim. I need to talk to him.” My heart was racing. “Colton...” I glanced down at his hand again. “You need to let me go.”
“You want me to let you go? Is that what you want?” His voice was low and husky. I looked at him and realised we weren’t talking about me leaving the house. Neither of us was saying it out loud, actually addressing it. No, we didn’t do that, we didn’t talk about anything that mattered. I took a deep calming breath.
I pulled away slightly, his hand didn’t slacken. The tears I had been holding back all day, rushed to the surface.
“It’s too much. It’s too complicated. I can’t do this dance anymore,” I whispered looking out into the hallway. “You said it yourself, it can’t happen. I can’t...” I struggled. “We can’t keep doing this. We don't even know whatthisis.”
The grip tightened again but he didn’t say anything. I finally turned my head and we looked at each other. I searched his face for a clue, anything. Those green eyes were shut down and giving away nothing.
Suddenly, my arm was free. He was no longer touching me; the impact of the loss was huge. I turned my head, so he wouldn’t see my pain.
“Thank you for looking after me this weekend,” I glanced back briefly.
He nodded curtly and walked away. I bit my lip to keep from calling him back. With a will I didn’t know I had, I walked out of the house to the waiting car.
Jay jumped out of the truck as I approached and took my bags from me. I climbed into the truck and waited for him to settle. He looked over at me. I smiled. I doubted I was convincing.
“You ok darling?”
I nodded.
He reached over and took my hand. “This ok?”
I nodded again. I felt butterflies.Damn it.
That’s how we drove back to my apartment. Me looking out the window with our fingers intertwined. I didn’t care that it may have been sending the wrong impression, or that when I watched the passing scenery, I was comparing shades of green to the colour of Colton’s eyes as he had looked at me earlier. For that brief amount of time that it took to drive back to my apartment I didn’t have any cares.
Jay parked round the back and we both sat. He looked over at me.
“We can speak here, or you can invite me in,” he glanced away. “I understand if you want to sit out here. Or go for a coffee?” He looked uncertain, unsure.
“You can help take my stuff upstairs.” I answered and I got out of the truck.
I didn't miss his relieved grin and I was smiling myself when I met him round his side of the truck. He dropped a tote to his feet and pulled me to him, I let out a startled squawk before he silenced me very effectively.
The kiss was deep and I lost myself in it if I’m honest. It was a wolf whistle from someone that made us separate. My cheeks were flushed and my heartbeat was a little erratic.
Jay smiled down at me. “Wasn't sure I would get that chance again,” he winked as he stopped to collect my tote.
Collecting myself I walked past him and up the stairwell to my apartment. I let him in and directed him to drop the bags in the spare room.