“Well, where is he?” Matt shrugged in answer. Connor switched his focus to me, “Ari?”
“I don’t know,” I answered, which wasn’t a lie. I genuinely didn’t know where Colton had gone to. Connor glared but shifted his anger back to Matt.
“Youalwaysknow where my brother is.” There was a heavy emphasis on the ‘my’ I noted. “Where is he?” Connor asked again.
Matt shrugged at Connor rather insolently, “I told you I don’t know.”
Connor glared at Matt and Matt held his glare steadily. I didn’t like this, it was rare for the guys to be at odds with each other. Yet Matt was giving no cut to Connor at all.
“Is this about last night?” Connor demanded. His attention shifted to me. Wow, that was a lot of animosity there.
Matt shook his head and took hold of my elbow. “See you later Connor,” he turned away from him. Connor was not to be deterred and reached out and grabbed my arm to pull me back. I shrugged him off.
“Jesus Con, I’m not a chew toy!” I snapped, as I rubbed my arm. Matt cursed and took a step in front of me, effectively blocking me from Connor. I rolled my eyes and stepped out from behind the barricade. Matt didn’t notice, he had a death glare focused on Connor.
“Keep your hands to yourself, you want to go grab people go see if Corey will put up with it. I don’t know where your brother is, he left. Try calling him and stop being a whiny little bitch. Speak to Ari like you did last night again and Iwillknock you out. You feel me? Now go away, you’re annoying the fuck out of me,” Matt was in Connor’s face.
I knew my mouth was hanging open. What the hell was this? I looked up at Matt, maybe he was joking? Nope. Not joking. I placed my hand on his arm, I wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t going to hit him now.
Connor took a step back. He held up his hands mockingly. “Calm down dude, I just wanted to know where my brother was. You need to chill. I’ll see you around Lil Bit.” He walked away.
I looked up to Matt, he met my eyes. He shrugged, “What?” He returned his attention to the retreating back of Connor.
“What?” I asked incredulously, “What do you mean what? What the hell was that?”
“Guy’s a real jerk sometimes. He ain’t grabbing you and speaking to you like he did last night and getting away with it anymore. When you were a couple I didn’t interfere because it wasn’t my place. You never really noticed his behaviour, but I did, I used to want to punch him regularly. I don’t care anymore if it causes people to be upset. He’s a little shit and I just won’t stand here and see him treat you like that.” Matt looked back at me and blinded me with a grin.
I shook my head. I didn’t understand, he made it sound like Connor was abusive to me when we were together. He wasn’t. Ok apart from putting people in the hospital he had always been sweet to me. Well there were the arguments, but that’s because I put it down to us both having fiery tempers. But I never felt that I was badly treated by Connor.
Matt nudged me and I looked up. “C’mon Bit, let’s get some coffee on the way home,” he suggested. My whole face lit up at the mention of coffee and Matt laughed at me. We started walking across campus.
“You know I wasn’t badly treated by Connor when we were together Matty. You make it sound so bad,” I said as I hooked my arm through his. He grunted in reply. “Matt?”
“You didn’t see it and I always put it down to you being too close to it. Plus let’s be fair, you weren’t exactly switched on around us all the time. If there was a book involved, you were out of it.” I flushed as he shrugged again. “I used to get wound up all the time when he spoke to you sometimes or spokeforyou. Man, that used to kill me. You would just be reading or doing homework and when he finally got your attention, you’d just agree,” he shook his head again, “And I would be like Jesus Ari,speak.”
I swallowed as we walked, wow. That was just wow.
“Colton used to get worked up worse than me. Eventually we realised we just had to leave the room to remove ourselves from the situation. Theo worked hard those years to stop major fall outs,” he chuckled as he reminisced.
How was this the first I was hearing about this? I remembered when I first found out about Connor fighting and that comment from my classmate in the hall, telling me I was always in my own head or in a book. Had I been like that throughout my whole relationship with Connor? I frowned as I thought about it. I needed to take time to think about this. I was kind of freaked out that I hadn’t noticed. Did this mean I was totally spaced out or that I just hadn’t cared? If I hadn’t cared, is that why it was so easy to fall into Colton’s arms that day?
Matt nudged me again. I looked up at him and his grin was sheepish. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s none of my business and I have no right to be getting on his case, or yours, about the way he treats you. It’s just so frustrating! But you’ll be nineteen soon and are more than capable of looking after yourself. Sorry Bit, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I shrugged, “I don’t think I ever noticed, what does that say about me?” I admitted as we started walking again, “Let’s get that coffee, I definitely need it now.”
Matt laughed at me and pulled me in for a squeeze. Seriously though, I wasn’t sounding like a good person, really was I? Why did any of them bother with me? I obviously wasn’t reciprocating in this friendship. Had Connor always been so controlling, even before the end of the relationship? Had I truly just ignored it because it was easier to read a book and disappear inside a story?
God, I wish I could talk to my dad. Dad always knew how to get me to deal with things and put things into perspective. Not for the first time I regretted that I was in this muddle with them again.
As we walked across campus to the coffee shop, I wondered if it would have been easier had they not been at CU? I would be able to go about my life without these confusing encounters. However, that was probably what got me into these messes, not wanting to deal with things. If they weren’t here, how else would I know I was seemingly oblivious to most things?
Thankfully, the school week was uneventful, no one waited for me outside of class. Classes ran smoothly and on Friday, Robbie joined me in class again. I looked up with a smile when he sat beside me. He smiled somewhat sheepishly and then in true Elle fashion, I behaved like our problems hadn’t happened. I had too much drama going on to add Robbie onto the list. He seemed equally eager to not venture into that territory either. A fellow avoider. I knew I liked him for a reason.
Robbie suggested coffee after the last class of the day and despite the guys warning me about him and his intentions, I agreed. We were strolling out of class when Robbie turned to me with what appeared to be a ‘eureka’ look.
“Want to go to Pearl Mall and get a coffee and maybe some pie there?” He suggested. I felt my face light up. I was thinking cheesecake from that little cake shop on the corner is exactly what would make my week perfect. I nodded eagerly and with a grin, he looped his arm through mine and off we set. Pearl Mall wasn’t too far from campus and the silly heatwave was still making all residents of Boulder forget it was October. Therefore, a nice leisurely walk was exactly what we needed before indulging in cake and coffee. I had walked into class this morning from my apartment, so the walk home would definitely help ease any guilt about cheesecake. Not that I had ever felt guilty about cheesecake.
The walk over to the Mall was pleasant. We chatted about inconsequential things which were light-hearted and safe. We made the detour to the cake shop and I emerged with two slices of cheesecake on the agreement we were going to swap halfway through.