Except I didn’t.
“Did he ever hit you?” Elliot asks me in a voice so awful it makes the hair at the back of my neck stand.
I shake my head. “No. Never.”
“Look at me, Belle.” He grips my shoulders, and I flinch. His face pales, but he doesn’t let go. “Did he hit you?”
“No. I swear.”
Elliot apparently sees something in my eyes. “But he wanted to.”
“I don’t know. Maybe. He pushed to see how far he could go.” I lick my parched lips. Despite the steam lingering in the bathroom, I feel a chill settle in my bones. “Then I lost the baby, and my mom sent me to Europe for a month. She thought it would be good for me. Traci and I went together, then when we came back… Dennis was rough—and verbally abusive, much more so than before. I snapped and slapped the hell out of him. I don’t know what made me do it, though. I think I was angry at myself…and at him…and had a better perspective on things after being away. I told him if he ever treated me that way again, I’d make him pay.”
“And he didn’t retaliate?”
“No. He ranted and raved, but he didn’t hit me back. He knew how things were. My father was the king of Lincoln City at that point. Everyone loved him for the oodles of money he was making them. So I was the queen bee thanks to my dad, and Dennis was important only because I was dating him. He played baseball, and he didn’t have the pull the football players did. The school’s quarterback wanted me as his girlfriend, and I was shallow enough to date him a few times just to spite Dennis.” I shake my head. “It was ridiculous really. If it hadn’t been for who my dad was, none of them would’ve given me a second look.”
“But you didn’t break up with him immediately.”
“No. We kept seeing each other until I went to college. He actually got a little better, and was never that abusive again.” Just spiteful and petty from time to time, but it was probably due to him being young and immature rather than him being an asshole. I stopped letting him act out because of Traci. She egged me on to fight back and not let him get away with anything. I don’t mention that, though—I don’t want Elliot to think even worse of Dennis. My ex is trying to build a new life, and it would be unfair for me to sabotage it over the way our lives tangled at one point.
“Did you love him?” Elliot asks, his voice low but no less intense for it.
“No. I don’t…know that I can love someone. Not the way you’re thinking, Elliot.”
My eyes close of their own accord. It’s a miracle that I can feel the kind of sexual pleasure I do with Elliot, but loving someone is…unwise. It would only bring me pain, and I don’t think I can subject myself to it. The people I love the most have betrayed me in the worst ways possible.
“Elliot, listen. I don’t want you to blame Dennis for any of this. He was young and stupid back then, just like me. Just imagine how you were when you were fifteen.” I don’t want him to go after Dennis out of some misplaced sense of revenge or…whatever. Elliot can be oddly old-fashioned.
He cradles my face in his hands. The warmth from his bare skin feels so good, I shiver. “One thing I never did was harass a girl into going out with me.”
“I believe you.” I smile, but I need to distract him from the dangerous minefield of my past. So I take an extra-deep breath and note that his eyes glance down. Then I lean toward him until our lips are almost touching. “Did I mention my period’s over?”
“You wicked woman. No, you didn’t.” He nips my mouth.
I sense the change in him—he’s harder, a flush in his cheeks and arousal darkening his eyes. We’ve gone days without, and for a man as sexual as Elliot, that’s a long time. I grip his shoulders and rise to my toes. He dips his head, and our mouths fuse in a lushly carnal kiss.
I let him lead me, take me to that sweet place only he can. He can’t change my past, but he seems determined to be in charge of my present. The control matters to him, especially after hearing my unpleasant stories, and so I give it to him, trusting him to take care of me…for the time being, anyway.
My robe glides down, pooling at my feet, as he deepens the kiss. His tongue plunges into my mouth, then strokes me, coaxing and teasing. He buries a hand into my damp hair, the other hand squeezing my butt. Wet heat pools between my legs, and my breasts become heavy with need.
He carries me to bedroom and places me in the center of the mattress. The cool sheet feels shockingly good against my fevered skin. He is still fully dressed, and he looks down at me from the foot of the bed. His eyes are so dilated, they’re almost black.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous, it hurts to look at you.”
I smile. “You won’t feel that way once you get used to me.”
“I don’t think I ever will. You are one of a kind.” He buries his face in the crook of my neck and inhales. “The more I have you, the more I crave you.”
He licks my neck, spreading my legs with his thighs and settling down. His heavy cock presses against my wet core, and he cradles a breast with one hot hand.
“I love the way your tits feel, so plump and soft.” He flicks the nipple with his tongue.
I inhale roughly as needle-sharp pleasure pierces me.
“And the way you respond, the way you get horny as I suck on them.”