“That was different,” Bennie says loyally.
“No, it wasn’t.” I wrap an arm around my knees. “Maybe I’m just not worthy of a chance. Lucas deserves somebody better than me, somebody who actually listens and cares about him.”
“Don’t do that. Look, I was skeptical as hell, but I listened to you and now I have Drew. I know you’re hurting, but do as I say and go talk to him after giving him some time to cool off. Got it?”
I bite my lower lip. “Okay,” I croak, even though I am not sure if I’m really going to follow through. Unlike Bennie and Drew, Lucas’s and my relationship is full of scars, so many of them inflicted by me. At some point, he’s going to cut his losses.
And I can’t help but think maybe that time is now.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lucas
If this Black Friday gets any darker, they’ll have to call it Black Hole Friday. I sprawl on Blake’s couch and just…stare. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since the bombshell went off, which should make me lucid.
It’s not working.
Thoughts spin around my head—not as badly as before—but I can’t seem to get a grip on anything. They slip past, elusive as a school of minnows.
The only thing I know is that Mia is mine…and Ava hid her from me all this time.
“Want some vodka? Elizabeth’s favorite,” Blake says, coming down from his room upstairs with a full bottle clutched in his fist. He’s in frayed jeans and a white T-shirt, his feet bare. The circles under his eyes are a deep purple, but he doesn’t seem much the worse for wear. But then he never did need a lot of sleep.
“You going to drink again?”
“Why not?” He settles into an armchair, propping his feet on a matching ottoman. “Beats brooding, which is what you’re doing.”
“I’m not brooding. I’m thinking.”
“Yeah, in circles. I can tell. If you need some suggestions—”
“I don’t need your advice.”
He raises an eloquent eyebrow. “Don’t you want to know why she did it?”
I study his posture—arms crossed, eyes watery but steady. “Did you get diagnosed with something terminal? An inoperable brain tumor? Cancer, maybe? This solicitude isn’t like you.”
Blake snorts. “I’m in perfect health, asshole. I’m trying to get you to quit chasing your tail.”
“You said you don’t remember being nasty to Ava.” She implied her decision had something to do with her encounter with my eldest brother, but… Damn it. Who the hell am I supposed to believe now? Until Faye’s announcement, my answer would’ve been Ava, but now…
Now I don’t know.
“I don’t.” Blake scowls. “But that doesn’t… Shit.” He runs a hand through his hair.
“What?”
“I might’ve said something.”
I sigh. “Great.”
“I was in a bad place, mentally. I wouldn’t have come to the hospital if Elliot hadn’t said you might die.”
“What the hell can put you in a place so bad—mentally—that you can’t remember what you said?”
A flush streaks his cheeks. “It involved Dane and a woman.”
I straighten. “Dane? Dane Pryce?”