“No, Grandpa…it is what it is. I just” —she sighed, suddenly tired— “I just think families are for other people, not me. I did everything in my power to be noticed and acknowledged. I did everything in my power to be a good girl, but nobody cared.”
“I know. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Kerri, is it too late?”
She fidgeted with her teacup. If she were a nicer person she would tell him, “No, of course not, Grandpa. I love you, and I always wanted the family to be happy.” But she couldn’t. That wouldn’t be honest. And frankly, she didn’t have the heart to lie, not even to make him feel better. Not when she had all the pain of the past and a fresh dose from breaking up with Ethan. She blinked away the sudden tears. “I don’t know. Probably. I can’t pretend all those things never happened to me, that I never felt the pain of rejection and neglect.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Will you at least take the money that’s your due? It would make me feel better.”
“Money?” She stared at him. “Money won’t change the past.”
“It’s for my own peace of mind. I need to make sure you’re provided for.”
She wanted to turn down the money and act lofty and haughty, like she’d always thought she would in her vengeful and petty imagination, but the reality was far from that. She wasn’t a cool, self-possessed adult. That was a shell. Inside she was a kid desperate to be loved by her grandfather, yet scared of his rejection.
“When I look at you, I see a granddaughter I wronged.” Barron’s voice was ragged. “Don’t reject what little I can do for you.”
She sighed. “Let me think about it.”
“Please do. And I want you to know how sorry I am and that I want us to be family again if you can bring yourself to forgive me for my years of neglect.”
“Why do you care all of a sudden? Why now?”
He gave up the pretense of eating his sugar cookie. At this point, it was nothing more than a mound of crumbs on the plate. “I’m old, and my time’s going to be up soon. Losing your brothers and David was hard, but losing your mother—my own daughter—drove home how little time I have left. And it made me realize how terrible I’d been to you. I was losing you because I never appreciated you enough, was never thankful that you’re my own flesh and blood. I regret that it took your disappearance and your mother’s death for me to figure that out.”
Kerri nodded and swallowed a small sob. A small part of her resented that it’d taken her grandfather this long, but mostly she hurt at having lost so many years mired in grief.
“I won’t press for forgiveness,” Barron said. “I know it won’t come quickly, and that I have to earn it.”
She should reject this overture, make him suffer. But what would that prove except how petty she was? “Just to give you fair warning, I might be a tough nut to crack.”
Barron nodded solemnly, but some of the tension left his face. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. You are a Sterling.”
Kerri sighed. Well then.
“Now,” Barron said. “Tell me about Ethan Lloyd.”
She blinked at the sudden change in topic. “What about him?”
“You’re working for him.”
“Yes.”
“Is that all?” He looked at her with a penetrating gaze that made it clear he already knew everything.
“He’s a nice guy.” The greatest understatement of her life. When Barron opened his mouth again, she raised a hand. “Grandpa, I’m not going to discuss my private life with you.”
“Then I won’t pry. But does he treat you well?”
Her heart ached. Did he ever. He was the only one who cared enough to go out of his way to make sure she knew how special she was. Without him to show her, she might not have had the courage to face Barron on her own. She would’ve run again, just like in Hong Kong, but this time someplace even farther away.
She nodded, buying time to control her voice. “Overbearing and overprotective at times, but yes.”
He nodded. “It’s about time you had somebody who cares for you and gives you the love you deserve.”
Kerri felt tears coming to her eyes, and she sniffed slightly. “You just like the overbearing part.”
“I do,” he admitted. “But I like the overprotective part better. I want my granddaughter coddled. I want him to show you how special you are, something I wasn’t able to do for you because I was too damn foolish and purblind back then.”
“It’s over,” she blurted out, then bit her lower lip. She didn’t know what made her say it, but she couldn’t keep herself from telling him.