“No, it was me. I should’ve planned better.”
“Don’t say that. You did everything right.” She looked at him. He might never understand how cathartic it was for her to share her old pain and memories with someone. And beyond that, to hear that same person tell her it wasn’t her fault after her family had treated her like she was the source of their greatest loss, without ever telling her why—Barron had forbidden it out of deference to his daughter’s emotional state.
No, Kerri would always treasure what Ethan had done, for it had been the most wonderful gift anyone could’ve given her.
He poured a glass of Merlot. “Here.”
“No, thanks.”
He cocked his head. “Natalie told me you’re partial to Merlot and whiskey.”
“Was partial.”
“What happened?”
Apparently it was a day for confessions. “I had some health issues.”
Ethan’s gaze sharpened. “What kind of issues?”
“Some fainting and a loss of appetite, nothing serious.”
“I presume you saw a doctor?”
She nodded. “A bad liver and terrible blood pressure, you know, the typical stuff.”
“Uh-huh.”
“He told me to quit drinking, cut back on my hours”—she snorted—“like that was possible, and not stress about anything.” She shook her head. “Like that was possible either.”
“So you quit your job.”
No, there was a bigger reason for that—Barron’s sudden insistence on seeing her in person in Hong Kong and ruining the cocooned life she’d made for herself—but she didn’t want to talk about her family again. Once in twenty-four hours was more than enough. “I can always go back. They put me on a leave of absence for now because the MDs think I’ll be back, even though I told them I was through. Not too many people quit without a better offer after getting this far, and they knew I didn’t have another position lined up. And, you know…they want me. I’m good at my job.”
Ethan nodded. “That you are.” Then he made a wry face. “So my giving you employment hasn’t been good for your recovery.”
“Please. I would have died of boredom doing nothing. I’m not any good at sitting around on a beach somewhere. If you hadn’t had me go over TLD’s numbers, I would’ve found something else. Some nine-to-five so I’d have more time to relax.”
“Uh-huh. I saw you working all weekend. Nights, too. And after I told you not to,” he said, feigning outrage.
“I lost track of time.” People didn’t understand how she found comfort in numbers. They soothed her because they were logical and constant. One plus one was always two, not three or four depending on their mood. She took another bite of cake. “This is amazing,” she said, trying to drag the topic away from her health and job and family. “Did you make it too?”
“Nope. Store-bought.”
“Ah, so you are mortal.”
He chuckled. “Believe me, there are more than a few things I’m not good at, so I outsource them. As for the rest… Well, I do my best.”
And undoubtedly got the result he wanted.
So what did he want from their relationship? Whatever it was had to be something more than just a few good rolls in the hay, given the amount of time and care he put into it. Kerri was apprehensive about the eventual end to their relationship. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to let him go without her heart breaking, but she was also terrified he might want more than what they’d agreed to.
Granted, he wasn’t running—even though he’d learned how messed up her personal life was. But did they have any future beyond their time in bed together? She still couldn’t go to social functions with him, and she had no idea how to be a good partner to someone like Ethan, who had everything and could seemingly accomplish anything he set his mind to.
But for now, she let the worries go. She would enjoy what she had until the inevitable end.
Chapter Nineteen
THE NEXT DAY, Kerri found herself rushing to meet Natalie at a local café. She couldn’t believe she’d lost track of time—again! Ugh. She really needed to use her Outlook more often and put every single thing in there. This was one appointment she really wanted to be on time for.