“First time you’ve slept with one, though.”
Kerri shook her head. “Don’t read too much into it. This is a temporary situation. Very very temporary. I’m sure Ethan’s going to sort out TLD’s problems soon, and then I’ll move on.”
“Move on where?”
“I don’t know. Maybe California?” She shrugged. “Maybe I’ll work for your husband if he’s hiring.”
“He’s always looking for talent.” Natalie cupped her chin. “But is that what you want to do? You want to leave Ethan…whenever?”
“When one of us finds somebody else we would rather be with. This was never supposed to be permanent. And I prefer it that way.”
Natalie nodded without saying a word. But she got that “I think I know what’s happening here” look.
“What are you thinking? Spill,” Kerri said around a bite of the sweet, tart apple.
“I was just thinking that maybe Ethan proposed something temporary to lure you in. You did say he wasn’t your type because he wasn’t ‘manageable.’”
“So?”
“He just made himself manageable by saying you can walk out any time when you find someone else. The question is, will he?”
Kerri cocked her head. “Why wouldn’t he?” she asked. “He’s just like any other guy—he wants to be free to pursue someone else if he feels like it.” A sharp edge of jealousy cut into her heart. She ignored it.
“Oh I can think of a few reasons, but whatever.” Natalie shook her head. “I guess if you’re really convinced it’s temporary…”
Kerri made a face. It wasn’t like Natalie to bring something up, then be coy about it. “Don’t get any strange notions just because you’re living a romance novel right now. I know what I have.”
“And what is that?”
“Work, with money coming in. A place to stay. And” —she paused, considering what she had with Ethan, and smiled slowly— “all-you-can-eat sex.”
*
Kerri stared at the computer while Natalie dozed on the couch. So much for keeping me company, Kerri thought with a smile.
The penthouse was quiet, but Kerri couldn’t seem to focus on the numbers and notes. She kept thinking about what Natalie had said.
Will he?
Why not? Ethan could and would leave if he found somebody else.
No, not if, but when. When he found someone more suitable. Physically, their relationship was hot, but he’d want more if he intended to have something permanent. He’d want—and need—a true life partner, not someone who was simply compatible in bed. For Pete’s sake, she couldn’t even go to social functions with him if her family was going to be there as well, and the Sterlings and Wilsons were as prolific as rabbits.
Kerri scrawled a note for Natalie and went outside for a quick walk to clear her head.
The condo association maintained an immaculate lawn with brick walking paths, and the greens surrounding the condo complex seemed even more verdant in the bright afternoon sun. Kerri chose a winding path. She didn’t know where it ended, but its twisty looping pattern seemed apt, given how complicated her life was right now.
Things used to be so structured and straightforward. She’d work as an investment banker. Never see her family again. Climb the ladder. Possibly marry a man who she was comfortable with and who understood the demands of her career. Save money. Retire.
An intense man who made her entire body and heart clench with longing—that had never been a part of what she’d envisioned for herself.
Suddenly she wanted to run someplace where she could form a clear plan for her future without gut-twisting emotions and desire clouding her mind. Sh
e wanted to live in a city where people didn’t know her, didn’t try to know her. Where her family’s PIs couldn’t find her, and her family would just give up. Then she might be able to have a life that could give her fulfillment, give her a sense of belonging with someone who cared for her.
An image of growing old with Ethan flashed through her mind, and she shook her head irritably. Even if their family ties weren’t an issue, Ethan couldn’t be the man for her, though he already seemed to care a great deal about her. He aroused too many strong feelings. That alone made him too dangerous for her peace of mind.
She didn’t want anybody to have that much power over her. Experience had taught her that people didn’t always take care not to hurt her, and she could no longer abide such a position of weakness.