"Absolutely. This dress is going to look amazing on you."
"I feel like going on this date a different night would be better though. I haven't exactly been having a stellar day."
"Which is why you should go. A great date will turn your whole day around. Besides, if you really want to get over Patrick you need to get under someone else."
"Ew. Seriously? That's terrible advice. I'm not doing that."
"Actually, it's great advice. And you know it. How did you get over the guy you dated before Patrick?"
"I didn't. I mean, Patrick was my only boyfriend. I never dated anyone before him."
"Wait, are you telling me you've only ever had sex with Patrick?"
"Jesus, Kendra, please lower your voice."
She laughed. "I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous. No wonder you were so upset about the break up."
"I was upset because we dated for five years and were engaged. And he was cheating on me. And I don't even know for how long."
"I know. I'm sorry. But you don't even know what else is out there. Dating is fun, Bee. There's someone out there that is so much better than Patrick. And probably a better lay too. You should really be more adventurous." She took a bite of her sandwich.
"Maybe."
"Let's stalk Mason. What's his last name?"
"I don't know. Marie didn't say."
"Damn. There's probably thousands of Mason's in New York."
"And isn't that cheating anyway? We're both supposed to go into the date blind."
"You don't think he already looked you up?"
"Wait, you think he did?"
"Maybe. Let's see what he could have found." She typed my name into Google and clicked on my Facebook profile. "Why the hell is there a picture of you and Patrick as your profile picture?"
"I haven't been on it in awhile."
"Bee, it still says you're engaged to him! What is wrong with you?!"
"I know. It's just...he never changed it either. I thought maybe it meant he was still holding on somehow. Won't he get a notification if I change it? It's almost like that makes it officially over."
"It was officially over when you gave him back the ring."
I ran my thumb along the spot where my ring had once been.
Kendra clicked on Patrick's name. "See." She turned her screen to me. There was a picture of Patrick with his arms wrapped around some brunette girl with huge breasts.
"Okay. I'll change my relationship status to single. I'm going to go get my work done."
"Bee." Kendra put her hand on my wrist. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to make you upset. I'm just trying to help."
"No, it's fine. You're right. If he really wanted me, he would have tried to make it work. I'll change it." I walked back to my desk and sat down.
I had thought Patrick and I were okay. We were both working long hours. When I had found out about him cheating, he had said it was my fault. That I wasn't giving him what he needed. Because I came back from work tired and ready for bed. So for a long time after I found out he was cheating I had blamed myself. As if him being a dick was somehow my fault. It wasn't. He was just an asshole. And I did need to move on. He wasn't the same person that he was when he had proposed. When he had proposed he had meant what he said. But the city had changed him. His new life wasn't something that I fit into. And now it seemed more like it was because I never belonged in New York in the first place.
***