“What are you doing?”
“Shh!” I hissed. “We’re making a getaway.”
“Oh. So you are having cold feet? I get it. I’m a little relieved. I know I said you two were perfect for each other, but he is a little weird.”
“Excuse you? I’m not having cold feet. I’m going back to college.” I slowly peered around the corner to see if the coast was clear.
“I’m pretty sure that’s cold feet. And we can’t go to Newark right now. We’ll miss the whole wedding. It’s over a two-hour drive…”
“That’s why we’re taking my perfect soon-to-be husband’s helicopter. Now stop saying insane stuff and let’s make a run for it!” Okay, fine. I know I sounded insane. But this was important. I wasn’t going to be a single girl anymore. And it went against the whole principle of the Single Girl Rules to hoard them from other single girls.
I grabbed Ash’s hand and we made a run for it. We made it out of the mansion and into the gardens without being spotted. Everyone else was still either getting ready or setting up for the ceremony inside. It was the perfect getaway.
Or not. Because Justin had just burst out the doors of the mansion.
“Where are you going?!” he yelled from behind us.
“The Single Girl Rules!” I yelled back to him.
“What the hell are you talking about?!”
I’d always thought Justin was so cool. How did he not know about the Single Girl Rules? #Lame. “I’ll be back before the ceremony!”
“Don’t you
runaway-bride me, missy!”
“I’m not!”
“Don’t you dare get in that helicopter!” he screamed
Too late. Luckily the helicopter was already here, ready to whisk me and shmoopie poo away to our honeymoon. We climbed in. “Go, go, go!”
The pilot turned around. “Um. Where?”
He was probably expecting me to yell ‘anywhere.’ But despite what everyone thought, I wasn’t a runaway bride. I was so excited to marry my shmoopie poo. But I just needed to do this one thing first.
***
Everyone on campus stared at me as we made our way to the library. Or maybe they were staring at Ash’s hideous dress. I smiled to myself.
“Justin has called me 17 times,” said Ash. “Just since we landed! We need to get back to the helicopter ASAP.”
“Not until the Single Girl Rules are back in their rightful place.”
“The ceremony starts in an hour!”
“I know. And this is great practice for my walk down the aisle.” I smiled and waved at some rando as I did my graceful walk. I’d practiced it a thousand times.
“Um…so…are we going to go back?”
“We’re here!” I ran up the library steps.
“That wasn’t an answer to my question!” Ash said as she hurried after me in her hooker heels.
And I don’t mean that in a bad way. I think hookers are awesome and I totally respect their lifestyle. I’d met plenty of guys who’d thought I was a hooker. And I always took it as a compliment.
“Why are we at the library?” asked Ash.