“You’re the only person that makes me feel whole again.” I used to think that his superpower was taking away my pain.
His hand slid farther up my shirt, pausing on my ribcage. It was like he was waiting for permission to ravish me.
And I had the most heartwarming realization. He was the only person that had never pushed me farther than I wanted to go. Ever. I had grabbed his hand in his tree house first. I had kissed him first when we were little on the rooftop. I had kissed him first when he was V. It was always me that closed the gap between us. He respected me more than anyone else ever had. Him respecting me was one of the sexiest things about him.
I swallowed hard and looked up at him. “Remember when we were on the roof of our dorm building and I asked you to pretend for one night that you loved me? Because I wanted to know what it felt like to be loved?”
“And I told you I didn’t have to pretend with you. I knew it was you, Summer. I’ve always known it was you.”
I nodded. “But this time I’ll know it’s real.”
“No masks.” He grabbed my hips and lifted my legs around his waist. “No fake names.” He lowered me onto his bed. “No lies. I promise you that this is real.”
I grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants and pushed them and his underwear down. Maybe I always closed the gap, but he clearly always wanted me too. When I looked back up at him, he raised his eyebrow at me and it was probably the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I felt like I was going to internally combust if he wasn’t inside of me in the next second. I pulled off my sweater and peeled off my leggings and underwear.
“And no foreplay apparently,” he said.
I laughed. “I’ve waited so long for you. For us.”
He climbed onto the bed on top of me, slowly pushing my thighs farther apart. “And the timing’s finally fucking right.”
I tried to say something, but my words blurred together in an incoherent mess as he thrust inside of me. So fucking right.
“I love you, Summer.”
“God, Miles!” I pulled him closer to me. I hoped he knew that meant I loved him too.
He pulled me closer still until our bodies couldn’t be any more perfectly aligned.
He took away the pain. He gave me every single thing I needed. I felt truly loved from my head to my toes.
Again.
And again.
And again until I passed out in his arms smiling harder than I ever had.
Chapter 44
Thursday
“It shouldn’t take long at all for them to get here.” Miles’ voice sounded in my ear. “And the package is being delivered as soon as you initiate the distraction.”
I didn’t respond. I knew the plan. We had been over it a dozen times.
“I’ll be watching the whole time, Summer. We all will. Nothing bad is going to happen.”
His voice was calming, but my thoughts had been at war all day. Nothing bad was going to happen. But it could. I wasn’t sure if I was going to stick to the plan. I wasn’t sure if I could live with myself if I did. Don deserved to be in the ground, not behind bars. This wasn’t justice.
“Just stick to the plan,” Miles said, like he could hear my thoughts.
I touched the earpiece I was wearing. “I will.” But there were two plans running through my mind, and I was thinking my plan was the better one. Miles knew I wanted Don dead. Eli knew it. Liza knew it. I was worried that they had a plan B too. Some safeguard to stop me from killing Don. If I was going to do it, I had to be quick.
But I had to get into his house either way. I was fine with this part of the plan. Don liked hurting me. He liked seeing me weak when he was the one that caused it. But he didn’t like when other people hurt me.
I clutched Miles’ hoodie in my hand and thought about the last time I saw my mother. I had said bye and gave her the shortest hug in the history of hugs. I should have said that I loved her. I thought about how my dad had ruffled my hair before stepping out the front door with her. When they closed the door I had thought "finally." Finally. Tears prickled my eyes.
I thought about standing at their funeral. I thought about my grandmother’s face lined with sadness. I thought about losing her when I was finally feeling like her home was becoming mine too. A tear ran down my cheek.