What if my parents are alive? The thought swirled around in my mind. I thought Miles had abandoned me. He hadn’t. I thought Don was an abusive foster father. But he was tied to my mother’s past. Everything I thought was real ended up being misconstrued.
What if my parents are alive? I kept repeating it over and over again. What if? What if? What if?
“I think they just got some model to pose as Julie’s fiancé in that newspaper article,” Liza said. “That whole thing was fabricated. She’s probably not even engaged. Which means the guy in this picture most likely isn’t Jacob.” She handed it back to me. “And it was probably someone else that Mr. Crawford would trust. Could that be your dad?”
I stared at the image. What if?
My father was always smiling. But I couldn’t see the man’s face in the image, mostly just the back of his head. Even his hair was covered by a knit hat. It could have been anyone.
But what if?
“I went to the funeral too,” Miles said. “There were two coffins. There…”
“But was it open casket?” Liza asked.
“No,” he admitted.
I continued to stare at the image. Turn that frown upside down. Don had left me a note saying that. But the only person who had ever said that to me before was my dad. Could Don have been keeping my father away from me? What if?
“And that original image I captured before.” Liza pulled it out of the folder she was holding. “We couldn’t see either of their faces in this one.” She handed it to me. “That might not be Julie here. It could have been your mom, Summer.”
I stared at the two people walking next to Mr. Crawford. And stared. And stared. What if?
“Does it look like them?” she asked.
Would I even recognize them if I saw them? It had been so long. What if?
“If they are alive, we have to assume that Don has them if he has Mr. Crawford. We need an extraction plan for all three of them just in case. We have a lot to do.” She started shuffling through more papers.
“No,” I finally said.
Liza looked up at me. “No? It’s better to be safe than sorry…”
I shook my head. “They would have found me already if they were alive,” I said. “They’re dead. I know they’re dead.”
“But what if they were being he
ld against their will?”
I clenched my jaw. My memories were so vivid. My dad always seemed to sense my pain. I remembered him running out into the yard when I cut my knee at the creek. He was always there. Always. “My dad would have done anything to get to me. Anything.”
“Summer…”
“He would have found me already.” He would have saved me before Don had ever hurt me. He would have. I know he would have.
“Mr. Crawford couldn’t find you…”
“Mr. Crawford isn’t my father!” I felt Miles’ hand land on my shoulder. I turned to look at him. “Miles was just a kid and he kept looking for me. He found me here.” I locked eyes with him. “If my dad was alive, he would have already found me.” I knew it in my bones.
It was more than that, though. I considered Miles to be my best friend growing up. But looking back on it, it wasn’t entirely true. My dad was my best friend. No one had ever been there for me more than him. I had never loved anyone more than I loved him. I knew it because even though I had Miles back, it still felt like there was a hole in my heart. It still felt like I was bleeding.
I turned back to Liza. “Besides, I talked to Mr. Crawford about my parents dying.” I tried to recall the exact words. “He referred to my father in the past tense. If he had just seen him, why would he have referred to him that way?”
“Well, what did he say exactly?” Liza asked.
“He said he was a good man.”
“Maybe he's not a good man anymore.”