He glanced at his phone for a second before sliding it back in his pocket. “Yeah, everything’s great.” He smiled at me. “Dad, could you take the next right?”
His dad hit his turn signal. “Are we stopping somewhere?”
Miles stared at me. “The graveyard is actually on the way home, Summer. I know you said you wanted to visit it.”
Seeing his parents was so uplifting. I had planned on just visiting with them today and saving the hard stuff for tomorrow. But maybe it was better to do it now when I was smiling. Before I saw my old house. Before I had a chance for the memories to come to the surface.
I turned to the front seat. “If that’s okay, Mr. Young?”
He looked into the rearview mirror to see me. “Of course.” He made the right turn and in a few minutes he was pulling up to the graveyard.
I needed to do this, but it didn’t stop my hand from shaking when I opened the car door.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Miles asked.
“No.” I swa
llowed down the lump in my throat. “I need to do this on my own.” I stepped out of the car before I could change my mind.
Even though I had only been here once, my feet remember the path. I left a trail of footprints in the soft snow as I wound my way through the gravestones.
I stopped and stared at their names. The last time I stood here, I had felt so numb. I didn’t cry at their funeral. I think part of me didn’t even believe it was happening. Because their memories seemed so close. But now? I struggled to hear my mom’s laugh. I struggled to feel the joy from my dad’s smile.
I wasn’t numb anymore. My tears felt hot on my cold cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. There were so many things I wished I could have said to them before they died. “I’m sorry I practically shoved you out the door that last night. But I know that you knew it. I know that.” I shook my head. “I love you both so much.”
I wiped my tears away. “And I’m sorry that I was mad at you for leaving me alone. I know you didn’t want to. I know that. I know that you loved me back.” They got caught up in something terrible. They tried to keep me safe. And I knew they tried their best. It felt like my heart was bleeding.
“I didn’t let him win,” I said. “I didn’t let him turn me into someone you wouldn’t be proud of. I’m still me. And I finally got justice for you.”
I put my hand on my father’s gravestone. It made me feel closer to him. Almost like he was here with me. I closed my eyes and tried to picture his laugh. But I couldn’t remember. I started crying harder.
“You better turn that frown upside down.”
The words he said to me so often swirled around me like the snow in the wind. But it wasn’t a memory. And I was suddenly aware of the fact that I didn’t feel close to him because I was touching his gravestone. I turned around and saw a ghost of a man.
His face was gaunt. His hair was gray and there were wrinkles creasing the corners of his eyes. He looked like he was starving. There was a scar down the left side of his cheek and neck that disappeared beneath his coat. He was so pale that his skin almost matched the color of the snow. He looked absolutely dreadful. Yet I had never seen such a perfect sight in my whole life.
“Dad?” The word came out of my mouth even though I knew it couldn’t be possible. This isn’t real. This can’t be real.
He smiled and it was the one thing that was the same. There had always been so much warmth in his smile. It always made me smile too. And seeing it for the first time in ten years was the greatest gift I could ever ask for. He nodded, like he didn’t believe the sight in front of him either.
I ran over to him. “Dad!” My voice cracked as I threw myself into his arms.
He caught me, despite how frail he looked. I felt his hot tears fall into my hair. “Baby, girl.”
He smelled the same. He sounded the same, even though I had never heard him cry. And he was sobbing even louder than me.
“Summer.” He held me even tighter. “I tried so hard to get to you. I tried.” His voice broke.
I believed him. He had clearly been tortured. For years. He looked so much older than his age.
“I’m so sorry, Summer. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t get to you.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I just can’t believe you’re alive. You are, right? I’m not imagining this?”
“It’s really me.”
“What about mom?” I pulled away from our hug. “Is she…”