“We were both stuck in a marriage we didn’t want. I stayed for Max’s sake, thinking I could give him what I didn’t have. And Avery … I think she didn’t leave because, to her, it was like admitting defeat in some competition. I don’t even know who she competed against—her brother, her friends, maybe against me; who would break first?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. It was always who had a bigger house, a thicker paycheck, a better position, a more accomplished child.”
Jane scraped the vegetables from the cutting board and into a bowl. She reached for the olive oil that stood on the counter next to a bottle of balsamic vinegar. “Did you date after the divorce?” she asked without looking at him.
“I went on one date.”
This made her raise her almond eyes and return his gaze. “Just one?”
“She was a nice woman, lovely even, but I felt bad for her. She didn’t deserve to be with a man whose head and heart weren’t there.”
Jane dropped the wooden mixing spoon, and it clunked against the glass of the bowl. She turned to him and flung herself into his arms.
Surprised, he enveloped her in his arms and pressed her to him. He bent his head and inhaled the scent of her hair. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Everything.” Her voice was muffled by his neck.
“I know,” he said. He knew exactly how she felt. It shouldn’t have been like that for them—trying to forge relationships with others while their hearts weren’t theirs to give because they already belonged to someone. His belonged to her; hers belonged to him. She must have had that with Tom.
He breathed in the lemony scent of her skin. “Things can change for us. The past, as much as possible, we should leave in the past. We’ll have a future.”
She moved her eyes between his, as if she were trying to read something, to find that future or at least the path that would lead to it. She then kissed him.
They managed to eat, and then he got a text from Max.
“I’m not feeling well. Can you pick me up earlier?”
“Sure. What happened?” he texted back.
“My head hurts.”
“Give me an hour.” He could be there in ten minutes and felt like crap for lying, but he wasn’t planning on keeping this up for long. He’d find a way.
They showered together and made love one more time. He then got dressed and hoped his son wouldn’t notice that he was wearing the same shirt as he had the day before.
“I’m dropping Max off at Avery’s on Friday afternoon, and I’m coming here after,” he said before they left the bedroom, all dressed. Thankfully, Friday was just three days away.
She didn’t argue. She nodded, and he kissed her before they opened the door.
The street outside seemed empty when he crossed it to his car.
When Avery opened the door, he wondered if she could see it on his face. He felt Jane was written all over him. Love was radiating inside every part of him, but she never knew how to read him anyway.
“Max,” she called, turning her head back.
“What happened to him?” he asked.
“Nothing. I offered him to lie down for a while, but he said he wanted to go home.”
He watched her. If Max had told him while he was in his house that he wanted to go home and meant Avery’s, he’d die. However, she didn’t seem to notice that, to Max, their house in Blueshore was home. He didn’t remember Max ever referring to his mother’s house in Riviera View as “home”. It was always “Mom’s.”
“Did you swim in the ocean, Dad?” Max asked when he buckled up next to him.
“The ocean?” He gave Max a what are you talking about smile and head tilt.
“Yeah, you know, like when people come back from the beach and you can tell they’ve been in the sun?”
It’s called happiness.
“Oh. No, it wasn’t the ocean.” He chuckled. “How are you feeling?”