forty-four
Rory
Fingerstracemyskin,but I tense. These hands shouldn’t be here. They’re cold and unfeeling. They don’t have permission to touch me or be in my room.
Slowly they get higher, raking their way up my thighs. The closer they come to my mound, the more my body stills. Locking up.
My breath holds, tightening as I will them to go away and for this to be over. They move higher past my belly button. Relief washes over me, but it’s short lived. Just when I think nothing’s going to happen, they find my neck.
Squeezing as they wrap around. My fingernails claw at their wrist, willing them to stop. If only I was stronger, if only I could yell for help, if only—
I spring up in my bed. Choking out air as my hands find my collarbone. The nightmare starting out as a memory of my past and ends with the sketchy man from the other side of town.
Both violent in their histories. Each one as painful as they are substantial.
“Shhhh,” Cole coaxes beside me. I’d forgotten in my urgency that I’d let him stay the night.
Deep breaths, Rory. Count to five, in. Hold it. Count to five, release.
I rest my head on my knees as he continues to work slow circles down my back. Kneading my strained flesh. “It’s over, you’re fine.”
He continues soothing me as I take in full gulps of air.
Patiently he waits, reassuring me the entire time as my heart settles back to a somewhat even speed.
“It’s alright, Princess.”
I grip at the comforter, embarrassed but also ashamed. He shouldn’t have seen this. Shouldn’t have to know that certain things still plague my memories disguised as dreams.
“You can go home if you want.”
He tucks a finger under my chin, lifting it to his eye level. The soft glow of the lamp shadowing part of his face. Defining his cheekbones and making him look that much more intimidating as his lips thin.
“I’m not going anywhere, Princess.Ever.”
My eyes ping-pong, looking for doubt.Promise?I have the urge to ask but bite my tongue instead.
The truth in his gaze fights me to stay still. The honesty of that statement hits me but it’s the affection in his stare that’s fighting me. Those are saying more than words ever could. Shining with something more. Something deeper.
I pull away, looking down at my toes.
How can one person make me feel nothing and simultaneously everything at the same time?
His fingers brush my chin again, raising it. That thing in his eyes shifts to something else, not carrying as much warmth as before.
He tugs me closer, and I follow easily. His touch is dizzying. Swallowing, I try to regain my fastly dwindling composure when his eyes fall to my mouth. His throat bobs just as roughly.
“Are you going to kiss me?” I whisper, too close.
My eyelids turn heavy, breath erratic.
He matches my tone. “Is that what you want?”
I hesitate, only a second, no, not even that long, but it’s enough that Cole’s pulling back.
“Why’d you do that?” I gasp, suddenly angry.
Exhaling out his nose, he spins me to his side. Facing me away as he tucks an arm over my stomach. The side of my head hits the pillow as my back falls into the heat of his naked torso.