“And yet, I found you running down an empty road in complete darkness,” he refutes.
His comment pissing me off all over again.
“Not once have I ever asked for your help, Iceman. Not once!”
His eyes flare back in my direction. “If you didn’t put yourself in those situations to begin with then I wouldn’t have to do these things,” he fumes.
“At least I attempt to face my demons, you can’t even answer a question,” I accuse.
“It’s not that simple.”
“It is!” I defend, uttering out the words. “You know what everyone else sees when they look at you? They see someone who doesn’t ask for attention but demands it. Your presence fills an entire room without you having to say a word.”
“And what about you? What do you see?” he asks, almost hesitant.
I grab at my wrist and Cole catches the action. My fingers running along the crescent moon medallion, making me bold.
“You’re someone who outshines everyone, a beacon that makes me not feel so alone. A moon in a world filled with stars.”
Cole’s skin pales as his chest rises and falls. Something that wasn’t distress or anger crossing his face. Reluctant, suspicion maybe?
Cowering, I fall deeper into myself the longer he says nothing. I don’t ask him to do the same, to tell me what I was to him. A larger part than I was willing to admit afraid at what he’d say.
It seemed like we were unraveling at the seams before we’d had a chance to begin. The weight from his stare like cinderblocks on my chest. He couldn’t see how the pressure was crushing me from the inside out.
I only had one question left weighing on my conscience. After this, we could part ways for good.
“Why did you save me from that fire?”
I cock my head when a look I can’t explain shadows his features. A loaded breath pulling through his teeth.
“As opposed to what? Let you burn to a crisp as you lied there unconscious?” he raves, saliva bits flying from his mouth.
Using anger as a means of defense once again. Still, the way he said it didn’tnotsting. My throat bobs not denying it. What would have happened to me had he not saved me. I’d most likely be lying dead in the ground same as Lillian now was.
I clear my throat, looking at the ground. “Glad we could talk.”
Opening my door, I step inside. A rattle sounds, vibrating the other side of the wall. Squeezing my eyes shut I drown out the sounds of a fist hitting drywall.
My head falls back against the door. Looking up at the ceiling when they finally stop, and I hear his footsteps walking away.
Cole has made me feel less than deserving since the day I arrived. Wounding me more times than he’d done good. Consistently I gave in seeing those small glimmers of the real him.
I wouldn’t wait forever. My time was worth more than what he was willing to give. I should be fighting with someone who would never intentionally hurt me.
Someone honest, kind,transparent.
…someone like Xander.
forty-two
Rory
WeekshavepassedandCole and I haven’t interacted since.
I wasn’t sure if it was easier this way or not but it’s how we ended up. Him getting ready for the basketball season and me, breathing.
The upside to all this, Xander and I have grown closer. We’ve had several more dates since then. Sure, I did not once feel that same spark of electricity like I had any time Cole was around, but Xander was easy.