“I know, and I appreciate all of that more than I can possibly say, but that’s not fair on you, either. You shouldn’t have to race away from work at every possible opportunity. This is your life, Colt, but it’s not mine.”
“I thought it was becomingours,” I said flatly, releasing a deep breath as I practically saw all the plans I had for us come crashing down around me.I thought she was the one, but once again, it looks like what I had to offer just isn’t good enough. Talk about a dagger to my fucking heart.
“Ours?” She scoffed at me, her eyes narrowing as she folded her arms. “Let’s not kid each other. None of this is ours. It’s yours, and you’re trying to make me fit into a box that I just don’t fit into. If you wanted a woman who was happy doing nothing all day, just drinking cocktails on the beach, shopping and reading, then you chose wrong. You’ve got your work, but I don’t have work, or friends, or anything here. Wandering around Europe alone is not what I signed up for.”
“What did you think you were signing up for then?”
She held my gaze, but her eyes were slits so narrow that I couldn’t even see any of the blue. “A vacation, for one. I never promised I’d stay overseas with you. I said I’d come to Paris, and I have. As for what I want in the long term, I want a real life. One where we have roots, and friends, and furniture we picked out ourselves in a house where we stay for more than a month or two at a time. More importantly, one where we both work satisfying jobs that we can come home from at the end of the day.”
“If that’s the important part, then it’s not a problem. Come work for me. It’ll be satisfying, and I’d hire you in heartbeat. I need to hire someone, anyway. You can work for me, and that way, you’d still be working no matter where we go, just like me.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized they weren’t what she wanted to hear. The expression on her face was like the calm before the storm, but I could already see the thunder rolling in and the lightning flashing behind her eyes.
She stared at me blankly at first, but then the mask cracked and disappointment, rage, and too many other negative emotions to name played out on her face.
Fuck.
I really thought I was giving her a solution to what she’d said was her most important problem, but obviously, I’d missed something. The world around me came to a standstill as she kept staring at me like that, the bustle of the café and even the bitter scent of the brewing coffee fading when I realized that this could be it.
After everything, it looked like I was about to lose her, and while I was a long way from giving up, I also didn’t think I had much choice in the matter. She wanted Rockdale, and that was the one thing I couldn’t give her.
Paris. Spain. Italy. The world. That was all I had to offer—on a silver fucking platter. But she didn’t want any of that. She didn’t want travel and adventure, or endless days of exploring new places.
She wanted home, and home was back in Ohio. While I felt like she was becoming home to me, she clearly didn’t feel the same way, and that fucking sucked. Emma had come to mean a great deal to me. I loved her, for God’s sake, and I would give her anything she could ever want—except the only thing it seemed she needed.
Not evenahome, butthehome. Clutching at straws, I thought of offering to bring all her stuff over here, but it probably wouldn’t even have arrived yet by the time we had to leave for Spain. I could offer to take it there, but I doubted it would make any difference.
What was it she said earlier again? Oh, right. It wouldn’t matter if we were going to the moon.All she wanted was to go home, and no matter what I did, it wasn’t like I could bring the whole of Rockdale over to Europe.
My world was ending.
City of love, my ass.
32
EMMA
He wants me to come work for him? Is he serious right now?I didn’t even know what to say to that, so at first, I didn’t say anything at all. I just sat there, staring at the roguishly handsome man I’d been in love with for most of my life and wondered who the hell he thought he was.
I’d come to Paris with him and now he was accusing me of not trying. It seemed like he’d forgotten what I’d left behind in order to be here with him.
As I looked into those dark, confused eyes staring back at me, I wondered how he would have reacted if the tables were turned. If I had suggested that I would hire him to work at my school, he probably would’ve laughed in my face, and that was what really got me going.
I never would have asked him to give up what he loved doing, but especially not so nonchalantly. Like it meant nothing and could be replaced with just anything else. Soft explosions started going off in my head at the thought of the ease with which he’d suggested I give up everything I’d worked so hard for in favor of taking some pity job from him.
The reverberations of those soft explosions eventually made their way out, and I was shaking from the force of them when I finally found my voice. “You’re not listening to me, Colt. I don’t want to be some glorified secretary that you only hire so you can keep screwing her all over the world.”
Before he could respond, I kept going, spelling it all out for him since he clearlydidn’tget it. “I’m a business owner, just like you. Sure, your business is huge and mine is just a small preschool in a small town, but it’s what I’m trained for. It’s what I’ve spent years building. It’s what I’m proud of and it’s what makes me happy. Frankly, it’s unfair that you’d ask me to give that up for your career.”
He put his hands up, his eyes darkening as a patronizing expression formed on his features. “Be reasonable, Emma. You can do what you do from anywhere. Sure, it won’t be your school, but you can work with kids. You can teach. You can get involved in charity work that educates children or help them in lots of ways, and you can keep your school while you’re at it.”
I blinked hard. Fury like I’d never felt before rolled through me in waves. “You haven’t changed at all, have you? You’re still acting just as entitled and selfish as you did when you were nineteen years old. Everything always has to be about you. About what you want. What you need. Rockdale was never good enough for you because what? You deserve the world? You’re so worldly and sophisticated that a small town could never quite cut it for you?”
He opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but I didn’t let him. “If you’re only ever willing to put yourself first in all things, then this will never work. First, you tore Teddy away from the place and the people that she loved at the worst, most traumatic time of her life because you weren’t willing to defer college for even a year so she could at least get used to life without your parents before you plunked her into a whole new world. Now you’re trying to convince me to abandon everything that’s important to me without a second thought.”
“Studying full time while taking care of my sister makes me selfish?” There was a dangerous, cutting edge to his tone. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I couldn’t defer. I was desperate to get out of that hellhole you seem to love so much, but I would’ve stayed for her if I could. I’d have lost my scholarship, though. Where would me or my sister have been then? Do you really think two newly orphaned teenagers would’ve been able to afford the upkeep of that house you love to visit so much indefinitely without any money coming in? That our parents left behind enough money that we’d both have been able to go to school, live, and stay in that house for years before we started working?”
“She could’ve stayed with us,” I argued. “My parents offered, and if you really couldn’t defer, you could’ve taken them up on it. My point, however, is that you’ve never taken what anyone else wants into consideration. Even Teddy’s wedding became about you and what you thought was best.”