Three years ago, I had thought Jensen could make me happy. How fucking naïve.
The thing with Jensen was, he wasn’t the single, unattached man I knew three years ago. He was a single dad, and if I wanted to start something with him, it wouldn't just be Jensen.
It would be him and Elodie.
And I wasn’t sure I was at a point in my life to be there for this little girl. Not when I felt like such a colossal mess most of the time. Elodie shifted and muttered something under her breath before moving in closer to me.
I let out a small sigh and turned off the TV.
The silence that ensued was loud in my ears.
I stood up carefully with her in my arms, gritting my teeth and tightening my hold on her when my muscles protested. Slowly, I walked into my room and placed her on my bed, doing a makeshift wall with all the extra pillows I had on my bed so she wouldn’t fall off.
She moved onto her stomach, her thumb going back inside her mouth. I didn’t know much about toddlers, but I wasn’t sure if I should let her suck on her thumb or not.
Something in me said no, but she looked so adorable, I didn’t have the heart to deny her. I stroke her head, feeling her soft, thick hair, smiling when wrinkled her nose a bit.
A distant memory nagged at me from the sight, and I frowned.
Why did Elodie feel so familiar to me?
It was like I knew her, and I didn’t know why that was. I was sure I had never met this little girl before, but every little thing about her manner and disposition felt familiar to me, so much so, my heart hurt just looking at her sometimes.
I let out a sigh.
This was probably my tired mind playing tricks on me. Turning around, I walked out of the room but left the door open in case she woke up. Then I sat back down on the sofa and stared at the black screen of the TV as my hand moved to my left thigh, rubbing the muscles there.
Today was an especially hard day.
I had good days and bad days, pain-wise. The bad days were getting few and far in between, but sometimes when it hit, it was almost unbearable.
And I refused to take any pain medication.
I didn’t like the way it messed with my mind, and I didn’t want to risk getting addicted, but fuck if I didn’t crave something—anything to take the edge off.
A sharp knock on my door had me jumping in my seat, my heart racing. I held my breath and looked in the direction of my room. Thankfully, Elodie was still sleeping. I stood and walked to the front door, opening to the sight of a disheveled-looking Jensen.
By the looks of it, I wasn’t the only one who’d had a hard day.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.” The softness in his eyes was back, fucking with my mind once more. I looked down and moved to the side for him to enter.
“Are you okay?” I asked. He didn’t look like any version of the man I’d seen before. Not the loving single dad who would do anything for his daughter, or the ruthless businessman who was used to getting everything he wanted, and not even the charismatic man at the bar, asking the girl he’d just met for a drink.
He took me in from head to toe, and I resisted the urge to move back.
“Fuck it,” he said under his breath, and the next thing I knew I was in his arms, his face buried in my chest, breathing me in.
“Jensen?”
“Just… let me hold you like this for a while longer, okay, sweetheart?”
I didn’t know how to say no to him when he sounded like that. I could feel my shoulders sagging, and then my arms moved to wrap around his big, hard body. I sank further into him, trying my best to comfort him, all the while seeking solace in his closeness as well.
My eyes burned, and I didn’t know why I felt like crying, only that I did.
He tightened his arms around me.