Max
I satin the recliner in the living room that looked out the front window of the house, a glass of whiskey in my hand. It was my second glass of the day, and it hadn’t even hit two in the afternoon yet.
Lizzie was coming home today.
Perhaps permanently, perhaps not. I didn’t know what her plans were. All I knew was that she was coming home with Hunter, and she would be staying with Mason and Olivia at their house.
And I had no fucking idea what to do with myself.
I had only seen her a handful of times in the past two years, mostly when she came over to visit Olivia for the holidays. We didn’t talk. Not like we used to. There was a tension between us that had been around since the day of her wedding—something we didn’t talk about either.
I had never stopped loving her, but she was another man’s wife at the time, and I didn't want to cross a line with her, one I couldn’t come back from.
And the fucker let her go.
A stupid man, in my opinion, but now I didn’t know how to act around her. How much damage had this marriage caused her? Was she even ready to start again, to let me love her? And what about her son? I couldn’t just enter Hunter’s life. That little boy needed structure in his life, and I wasn’t sure I was a good enough man for that.
Not with all the things I had done.
I looked down at my hands. Hands that caused violence and destruction. Hands that didn’t deserve to touch an angel. It would be best if I stayed away from her. She didn’t want me. She’d made that very clear on her wedding day, and if I was a better man, I might uphold her request.
Yet, I didn’t know if I was capable of it.
If I could actually leave her alone. But I didn’t want to ruin her.
The sound of car tires on the gravel brought me out of my thoughts and I looked out to see Mason pulling into his driveway. I could see Olivia sitting in the passenger side, but I didn’t see Lizzie or Hunter. It didn’t mean they weren’t in the car. My heart pounded fiercely inside my chest, and my fist clenched around the glass.
Mason didn’t pull into the garage, but instead chose to park on the driveway. I waited with bated breath as the doors flung open. Mason and Olivia got out first, and I could see Olivia walking over to Mason before they opened the car door on his side, probably to get Emma out.
Then I caught sight of red.
For as long as I’d known her, she had never dyed her red hair, keeping it long and natural. I loved her hair. It contradicted the poised and elegant woman she had grown to be—offering just a bit of insight to that fiery, passionate side of her.
She was bundled up in a large tan sweater that nearly engulfed her small, lean frame, and wearing black leggings and black boots. Even after all these years, she was so goddamn beautiful, she took my breath away.
I wanted to come out and see her, touch her… keep her.
I didn’t have that privilege, though. I knew that. When she reached back inside the car and pulled out her little boy, I was reminded once again of why it might not be a good idea to approach her.
She might be feeling vulnerable, and Hunter would be her priority, as he should be.
Olivia said something to Lizzie over the roof of the car, and Lizzie threw her head back and laughed. I couldn’t hear them very well, but I could see her. Could see the way the afternoon caught her hair, and her flushed cheeks, which stood out in contrast to her pale, freckled skin.
I watched as she moved over to Olivia, who was now holding a fussy Emma in her arms. I watched as they disappeared inside the house, feeling empty all of a sudden.
Mason was still outside, carrying in Emma’s baby bag and Lizzie’s carry-on. Before he made his way inside, he turned his head toward my house. I knew he couldn’t see me from this angle. It still didn’t stop me from tensing until he walked toward his house and disappeared from sight.
My little brother was much more astute than I had ever given him credit for. I knew he saw things I had wanted to hide.
For so long, it had been my job to protect him from everything. But he was a grown man now, with a family of his own. He didn’t need me to protect him anymore. Olivia didn’t need me to protect her anymore. Not when she had Mason to do it.
I placed my hand on my chest and rubbed away the ache that had taken residence there. I wondered when that had happened. It felt like I had blinked and suddenly everyone was getting on with their lives. Everyone but me, still so stuck in the past, still so stuck on the girl I couldn’t, shouldn’t, ever make mine.
But I had belonged to her for so long, I didn’t know how to belong to myself anymore. And that was the problem.
* * *
A week had passedsince Lizzie moved back home.