Helyn keeps walking. She takes another right, and at first, I assume she's of the school who believe mazes ought to be solved by always taking the same turn. At least three women seem to harbor that misconception. When she reaches the third turn, Helyn takes an unexpected left.
I watch in rapture as she suddenly bends to a crouch, just like she did the very moment I met her for the first time. Then she leaps to the nearest hard wall.
I want to think she's gone mad like everyone who remains. I want to see her break. That was the entire point of bringing her in to my domain, my control. I want to show her I can crush her spirit into my grasp. She's nothing exceptional. Just a common girl.
"Is she climbing the vines?" I hear one of my courtiers muse.
"How is she even seeing them?" another counters.
Both excellent questions.
My attention entirely focused on the girl who should have screamed my name ten times already, I lean forward in my box and watch.
That's when I understand.
She isn't seeing anything.
* * *
Oh, the cruel, sadistic, heartless monster!
I'll strangle Zale the next chance I get.
I didn't understand at first, but the lull of the familiar hums, the comfortable scents and voices around me felt wrong.
Then I saw him. A little boy I used to play catch with as a child. He froze one harsh winter after his parents disappeared. "Come play with me, Helyn. Why can't you join me?"
By the time I saw Grandma Lyn's smiling face and heard her rough, broken voice, I expected her.
It hurt all the same, like my heart was ripping in two.
"I never thought you'd let her in. You're better than that. You're better than her. How could you forgive Neleda after everything she did to you? To me? You're betraying yourself. You're betraying my memory."
Each word feels like a dagger thrown directly at my heart.
"You left the lane. You left me. What do I have, now? Nothing. This is hell."
I can't tune out her voice, but at least, I shut my eyes to stop seeing my grandmother's heartbroken face as she crumbles to the floor.
That isn't Lyn Stovrj. She was strong and she would have commended me for taking what I can from Neleda. This shadow is just my fears, my doubts, reflected back at me to control my mind.
Knowledge is power. My grandmother believed it, and so do I.
Settling in a crouch to rest and think, I run through what I know. I am in a maze that attempts to trick my mind into seeing something else entirely, but its walls, its paths, are a concrete thing.
The walls.
I looked at these walls from above. My eyes surveyed almost it eagerly, and whatever I see, I remember.
I force myself to focus and visualize each shape, the squares and rectangles, the sandy beaches, the pond, and at the middle of it all, a circular atrium.
I rerun through my path in this castle. The duke took us straight toward the sunset. Inside the castle, we took three lefts, a right, walked forward again…
I take my time, forcing Grandma Lyn's voice to the background. I place the throne room, the staircase, and finally, my red door on the other side.
My mind tries to reconcile all those bits of information with the maze I saw from above, but I fail. I can't quite decide which direction I'm facing.
But I remember the atrium. Getting out of here from the center should be doable. All I have to be careful of is not to turn back toward the same door.