“And I’m going to be an auntie! Woohoo!” She pumps her fist with a huge smile. “I’m so excited for you. Did you tell Griffin?”
The weird nagging feeling suddenly resurfaces. “Of course.”
“What did he say?” She leans forward, all too eager.
“He just said he’d do the right thing.” I stab my fork into the spaghetti.
“Meaning?”
“He plans to be a good dad.”
“Okay, but how, exactly?” Ellie scowls. “Your dad thinks he’s a great dad.”
“I know. Dad acts like he’s fulfilling his duty for a responsibility he can’t shake off, while claiming he’s doing the right thing for me.”
Saying it out loud, I realize what’s been bugging me. It’s the fact that Griffin also said he’d do the right thing for the babies.
“I don’t want Griffin to be in their lives out of obligation.” I feel uncharacteristically glum.
“A man won’t stick around out of obligation,” Ellie says, all brisk and practical. “He will for other reasons. I’m surprised he didn’t propose something a bit more romantic, especially after what he did for your birthday.”
I pause as sudden hot shivers run down my spine and pool in my gut. It’s longing. I sip my drink to cover my reaction and re-center myself. “We’ve only known each other for a few weeks.”
“But he’s the Midnight God!”
“Well, yeah,” I say. “But we only found that out last weekend.”
“Still.”
“I don’t want him to propose because of the babies. I want him to propose because he sees a future with me. Growing old together.”
I wanted that with Todd and failed because I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was there when I was lonely, and he seemed sweet. I didn’t think it would be a problem.
“I hope Griffin is the one I can still hold hands and dance under the stars with when both of us have gone gray,” I say quietly. My heart flutters at the image.
Ellie’s expression softens.
I continue, “But I need to be sure that we’re making the right decision at the right time. And for the right reasons. I want Griffin to want to be with me—to be my family because he loves me the way I am and because being with me makes him as happy as I am with him.”
“Men can be oblivious about their feelings,” Ellie says, shrugging. “Give him some time and space to work out what he’s feeling for you. He’s a smart guy. He’ll figure it out soon enough.”