‘I can understand you not wanting people to know that she had affairs,’ Jemima murmured ruefully. ‘It hurt your pride and Sancia played along with that because it suited her to do so.’
‘She made a killing on the book because she wrote what Gigi’s fans wanted to read. They didn’t want to hear about the man-eater with the monstrous ego who seduced me when I was twenty-two and too rich and naïve to smell a rat. Of course, she was already pregnant when she first slept with me.’
‘And you didn’t even suspect?’
‘I was infatuated with her. It was probably a little like the way you reacted to your unknown twin when she first turned up. I only saw what I wanted to see in Gigi and I was flattered by her interest.’
‘But the marriage only lasted because of Melita?’
Luciano could not hide his sadness. ‘The marriage died within months of Melita’s birth. I loved that little girl and she loved me. Gigi had no interest in her daughter but she wouldn’t have given up custody of her because she said that would damage her reputation as a mother.’
‘And did you say that you would never love a woman again after her?’
‘Yes,’ Luciano admitted freely. ‘Because loving Gigi was a horrendous experience and I couldn’t forgive myself for being such a fool. I sincerely believed that it would only be safe to love a child, which is why I planned the surrogacy arrangement.’
‘You do think in some seriously screwy ways sometimes,’ Jemima told him gently.
His nostrils flared as he thrust open a side door into the castle. ‘It seemed perfectly logical to me at the time. Gigi did a lot of damage and I didn’t want to be burned again.’
‘It was still a little over the top,’ Jemima criticised. ‘You may have decided to live without love but most children want two parents.’
Luciano shot her an impatient look. ‘All right, I’m selfish...and maybe I didn’t think it all through the way I should have done. But look how it turned out,’ he said with a sudden grin. ‘I got you... Have I still got you?’
‘It would take more than Sancia to scare me off.’
‘Yet you actually thought I could be about to dump you?’ An ebony brow quirked in wonderment. ‘What makes you so modest? I cut my trip short a day and travelled all night to get to you because I heard that you were upset.’
Jemima stiffened. ‘Who said I was upset?’
‘I promised not to name names,’ Luciano revealed.
‘I wasn’t upset yesterday,’ Jemima insisted out of pride. ‘I was just working through some stuff and thinking a lot. Getting married is a big challenge.’
‘Especially when the groom is someone like me,’ Luciano slotted in without hesitation. ‘Someone too proud and private to admit that his first marriage was a disaster and that his first child wasn’t his child.’
Jemima wrinkled her nose as he walked her up the rear staircase she had never used before. ‘But I sort of understand you keeping quiet about that, although that doesn’t mean I approve of you being that secretive.’
‘And the prospect of marriage must become even more challenging for a woman when the bridegroom refuses to admit that he loves you,’ Luciano told her in a rush shorn of the smallest eloquence. ‘That wasn’t just secretive, that was stupid, because if you’d known how much I love you yesterday you would have laughed in Sancia’s face and I wouldn’t have been panicked into rushing halfway across the world to assure myself that you weren’t going to desert me.’
‘I wouldn’t desert you...or Nicky,’ Jemima added, still working very slowly through what he had said. ‘You love me?’
‘Insanely.’ A flood of dark colour accentuated his high cheekbones. ‘The thought of life without you downright terrifies me. A couple of weeks being without you has proved a chastening experience. I’ve never missed anyone or anything so much in my life...’
Jemima suddenly realised that they were having a very private conversation in the corridor and she walked on a few steps and thrust open his bedroom door. ‘Never missed anyone...’
Luciano leant back against the door to close it fast behind him. ‘Jemima, does it take a hammer to knock an idea into your head?’ He groaned. ‘I phone you every hour on the hour and you think that’s normal? I invite your whole family here to keep you company so that you can’t even look at another man while I’m away. Don’t you ever get suspicious, piccolo mia? You think I don’t realise that wet blanket, Steven, is sitting out there waiting for you, hoping like hell that I’ll screw up and lose you?’