Epilogue
Cassandra
One year later
Life is a miracle. How can two people that never should have met create something so beautiful?
But then, weren’t Apollo and I destined to be together? Wasn’t it meant to be? And to create this little wonder, this new being that’s looking up at me through big, brown eyes, learning what her mommy looks like. How could it possibly not have come to pass?
“She’s amazing,” Apollo whispers, tears in his eyes making me blink away some of my own. “You’re amazing.”
“We’re amazing,” I say with a laugh, then wince at the pain between my legs. Worse than when he fills me.
He puts a hand to my face, gently pulling a stray hair to the side, then runs his palm over our daughter’s forehead. Such a gentle act from such an imposing man. He’ll be the perfect father, I just know it. Sure, I’m aware that things didn’t work out so well with his older children, but he’s grown even in the short time we’ve been together. He’s trying to do things differently, trying not to resort to violence quite so often, and I’m proud of how far he’s come.
And I know he’d never let any harm come to this little one. Not so long as there’s breath in his body.
Ten months ago, we were married in a small ceremony on a beach in Hawaii. It was perfect. Just the two of us, my mom and dad, and Nanna Divine, along with Camilo and his boyfriend at the time, a guy named Brad who’s no longer in his life. Camilo found out he’d been cheating, and cried on my shoulder for an hour, but it’s like I told him: Some things aren’t meant to be. I know he’ll find the man for him someday.
As the officiant declared Apollo and I man and wife, the sky was just turning from bright blue to salmon pink, as the sun drew towards the horizon. Our first kiss as a married couple was with the sunset as a backdrop, and Apollo had hired an entire villa just for us.
That night was the first time I wore a strap on. The first time I used a knife across Apollo’s buttocks to draw blood and watch it trickle down the backs of his thighs as he came in my hand. The first time I brought him to orgasm pounding him from behind while he was strapped to a portable cross we set up across the bedroom doorway.
I have to say, I enjoyed being in control for a change, but it’s an occasional desire for me. For the most part, I prefer to be the one degraded and immobilized. I like to struggle and know there’s nowhere to go. I like to feel the bite of a knife or the pinch of nipple clamps.
But just now and then, the urge takes me to switch places.
And Apollo is the perfect partner. Even when we found out I was pregnant, even when I started to show, he did everything he could to give me what I needed. He took classes and spoke candidly to doctors, making sure that the things we did were safe but would still make me feel special. It’s his way, to take control, to act, and I always feel protected when he’s around.
“Our perfect little girl,” he whispers as he takes her from my arms, cradling her gently in his. “You’re going to get a lot of love, you know that? So much love. Your mommy can’t have any more children, the doctors say it would be too dangerous, so you’re going to have to take all the love we have to give, and believe me it’s a lot. I hope you’re ready for that, little Missy.”
I smile. Missy. We decided on the name almost as soon as we found out I was pregnant. Apollo still misses his sister, and recent events have only brought her more into his mind. It was my suggestion that our first daughter should be named Artemis, and I didn’t think he’d ever stop hugging me. When the doctors told me that I had to avoid any more pregnancies after this one, he said he’d understand if I wanted to name her after my mom or my grandmother, but I just smiled and shook my head. There was no way I would take that away from him, not after seeing how much it meant.
“Can you watch her if I catch some sleep?” I ask, and see him grin like he won the lottery.
“I’m not letting her out of my sight,” he says, pulling her closer as I settle down into the bed. “Or you.”
I smile. I know that’s the truth. Barely a moment goes by that I don’t feel him there, protecting me like a shield.
And I know that nothing ever gets past my husband.