Gabriel caught up with me in the garden with an amused air. “What did you have in mind, Sprout?” The old nickname rang with a deep fondness.
“Well…” I marched into the main hall and down it. In the front sitting room, I cast my gaze around. “That couch and that table can go. We could open the wall between this room and the music room”—I glanced at Seth—“couldn’t we?”
He nodded, smiling. I tapped my finger to my lips, swiveling in the other direction. “Maybe take down the wallpaper and paint the walls instead. And in the living room…”
Damon raised his eyebrows, his shoulders tensed. “Why make all these changes all at once?”
Was he wondering where he fit into my new vision? I forced myself to slow down. “I want all of you to weigh in, of course. It’s not just my house but all of yours too. I just feel like we’ve waited so long to embrace that—it’s about time.”
My mind slipped back to the crib I’d found in the attic. Another longing, deeper and more poignant, swelled around my heart. A smile stretched my mouth. “And maybe it’s time we make room to expand our family too.”
Chapter Thirteen
Damon
I’d already spent more time than I’d have liked in the witches’ Assembly building back when we were on the front lines of the demonic invasion—and before that, when we’d been locked away in the same prison area where Rose’s father had spent most of the past year. The bare walls and rows of office doors reminded me too much of the juvenile detention facility I’d had a couple of short stays in during my teens, before I’d gotten smarter about my not-entirely-legal pastimes. And every employee that passed us I’d swear was looking down their nose at the bunch of us.
Even the two witches who were conducting this interview to determine our “reproductive acceptability” or something ridiculous-sounding like that had a haughty air as they asked their questions:
“Are you aware of any illnesses affecting more than one of your relatives?”
“What do you see as the benefit of bringing a child into your lives?”
“What can you say about your ability to handle yourself under pressure?”
At that last question, Rose laughed and motioned to the five of us. “I’m sure you haven’t already forgotten that we were the onesyourleadership called on to figure out how to defeat the biggest paranormal threat the witching world has ever faced. I’m pretty sure between the six of us we can take on an infant.”
She didn’t look fazed by the questions. I guessed she’d either heard about the process or maybe gone through it before with that traitor asshole she’d nearly married. The asshole her father had been setting her up to be a slave to.
A flare of anger rippled through my chest and sent a sharper stabbing across my arm.
None of that history mattered to Rose anymore. With each nod of the interviewers’ heads, her face brightened a little more. It was that light that kept my voice steady and my sarcasm in check.
Rose wanted this. Rose wanted it alot. I’d be damned if I screwed it up for her.
Hell, months agoI’dwanted this. I could remember the stirring of nervous joy when we’d discussed the possibility of starting a larger family after we’d finally been able to return to the estate at peace. I didn’t know what kind of father I’d be, but I’d at least bethere, which was more than I could say for my own dad, and any kids we produced would have four other dads to thoroughly cover every aspect of that role.
Now, though, with the burn of the demon’s scar prickling so deep inside my forearm it seemed to be gnawing into the bones, I couldn’t summon any joy, only nerves. The pit of my stomach had hollowed out.
I hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to Rose about the mark. Seth and Jin had jumped in to make their big reveal, and then before I could get her alone, she’d been caught up in the idea of renovating not just the house but our lives there.
If I’d told her then, she’d have felt she needed to inform the interviewers, because that was just how Rose was. Honest. Honorable. And no fucking way were they going to give permission for us to have kids if they found out one of us was crawling with demonic power.
So, I’d have to be dishonest for a little while for her, and we’d deal with it after, when we got back to the estate. I’d survived this long—I could make it a few hours more.
Finally, the one interviewer shuffled her papers and tucked them into a folder, and the other put away the tablet he’d been poking at. We all stood up. The woman shook Rose’s hand. “Everything appears to be in order. You can consider your registration complete. Once you are with child, please pass on word to the Assembly both for our records and so we can ensure you receive all proper care.”
“Of course,” Rose said, with a hint of dryness in her tone that told me she hadn’t loved the interrogation either, as well as she’d handled it. Thank the lord it was finally over.
They’d squeezed us in last minute. We must have been the last appointment of the day. The halls were empty as we headed out, the sun just dropping behind the downtown high rises when we emerged onto the street. The temperature had dipped, making me glad I’d brought my leather jacket. Today more than ever before, it felt like a suit of armor, although this time protecting everyone around me from what lay beneath it.
“We obviously don’t need to jump right into anything,” Rose said as we reached the two cars we’d arrived in. “I’d still need to perform the ritual quickening to release the protective aspect of my spark. There’s lots to talk about. But this way when we decide it’s time, we can go right ahead without worrying about anyone else’s permission.”
“Not that we’ve generally waited for permission in the past,” Jin said with a waggle of his eyebrows. Which was true enough. We’d gotten consorted not only without permission but when the act was technically illegal and could have gotten us all killed as punishment.
But having kids… You didn’t mess around when it came to that. The uneasy twinge returned to my stomach as I hopped into the back of the Buick, letting Gabriel take the front since I had on the way down. I might be here, but what if me being around a kid was worse than menotbeing present? What if I set a bad example for them, or taught them the wrong things… what if Ihurtthem? I wouldn’t mean to—I’d never want that to happen—but I’d caused plenty of damage throughout my life without trying.
The prickling in my arm seared so hot I had to clench my jaw against a noise of pain. The twins and Jin got into Jin’s Honda, and Rose pulled the Buick into the street. I pressed my hands against the edge of the seat.