Her office was warmer than the hall. A space heater was humming in the corner. I leaned against the cabinet next to it, soaking up its warmth, while Meredith finished sorting through the last batch of receipts and work forms. With a twitch of her fingers, she brought her magic to bear on the bottom of one paper and then another, affixing her magical signature to the documents that requiredit.
Then she turned to me, leaning her sturdy frame against the desk. Even at the end of the day, her hair remained neatly pinned in her braid, not a white or gray strand out ofplace.
I wondered if she used a little magic to hold it there, the same way she encouraged her face to stay smooth. She looked no older than Celestine, who was around fifty, even though I knew Meredith had to be at least a couple decades older. It had always seemed impolite to ask that sort of thing. Meredith was as much a witch as I was, but being from a lesser family, she’d ended up running ours instead of starting her own. Two generations from cradle toconsorting.
She did have a consort and husband of her own—Anton, who served as Dad’s accountant. And she’d always been my best source for witching info when I had questions Dad was too busy to answer or I was too embarrassed to ask himabout.
“What’s on your mind?” she said now with a knowinglook.
I bit my lip. “I was just curious… How do you know for sure that your spark will light with someone? Does the consorting ceremonymakeit happen, or…” I trailed off, uncertain how to express what I wanted to without saying more than Idid.
Meredith gave me a gentle smile. “It’s a confusing time, isn’t it? So much anticipation, but also so much to worry about. You can be sure your spark will light with Derek, Rose. He’s a witching man, and the ceremony will align your hearts and passions to provoke thekindling.”
“So it’s just the ceremony that makes it happen?” I said. “I just—I know that Dad and Celestine were, er, close before they officially became consorts, and Celestine kept her magic even though she lost her first husband years before. And there’s always that talk about how the men should be careful about who they give their intimacy tobeforetheconsorting.”
“Well, that’s where it gets complicated,” Meredith said. “It’s not all one thing or another. Where there’s mutual attraction, the man’s energies can light and sustain the spark without any formal binding. The more powerful your emotional bond, the easier you’ll kindle too. But immediate passion is hardly necessary. Sometimes it’s better without. There’s no shortage of tales of young witches getting swept up in dalliances with some tempting man only to find that excitement runs dry beforelong.”
“So it’s okay if you’re not feeling… sweptaway?”
She nodded. “You want sure and steady. Build up that light over time, with growing affection. The ceremony will help you open up to eachother.”
“Does that mean you didn’t feel your spark until you completed the consorting with Anton?” I said, on the verge ofrelief.
Meredith laughed lightly. “Oh, no, child. Even a little affection can give you a flicker, if you give it the opportunity. Not enough for any major magicking, of course, and it fades much faster than after you’re properly kindled.” She cocked her head at me. “Are you considering getting a head start on your relations with Derek? If you’re feeling ready, you may as well start laying that groundwork. You can still take thingsslowly.”
“I don’t—I don’t know,” I said. My thoughts were stuck on that one thing she’d said.Even a little affection can give you aflicker.
I’d felt at least a little affection for Derek in that moment, despite my doubts, hadn’t I? Thinking of him giving up his home to be here withme?
So if nothing had sparked, not even a flicker… I resisted the urge to hug myself. Maybe I’d gotten my answer after all. That would have to meanhehad no affection forme. Not ashred.
He’d talked as if he did. Smiled at me as if he did. It could have been my fault, with all my suspicions of him… or all of that was alie.
* * *
The pond our forest stream fed into looked just the same as it always had when we were kids. I slowed to a stop as I reached the edge. Minnows dimpled the otherwise-still surface of the water. Sparrows chattered in the trees, and sunlight poured through the gap in their foliage across the mossybank.
Jin was already there, the sun making the blue streaks in his hair stand out even brighter against the black. He was leaning over, trailing the end of a stick he’d picked up through the mud between themoss.
“You’ve always got to be sketching something, don’t you?” I said with a smile. I set my hand against the cool granite surface of the boulder at the edge of the pond—the one I’d used to duck behind to shimmy out of the clothes I’d hidden my bathing suit under, way back when. The boys would have simply tossed off shirts and pants and jumped in wearing theirunderthings.
Jin grinned back at me, and my face warmed. Hmm. Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to be thinking about my guys, even all those years ago, mostly undressed. My emotions were jumbled up enough as itwas.
“What can I say,” he said, twirling the stick. “It’s an obsession. I’ll cop to that. But as obsessions go, you’ve got to admit there are a lotworse.”
“Okay, that’s fair,” I said, propping myself against the boulder. “Although maybe calling it just an ‘obsession’ is downplaying the situation a little. Didn’t you travel around, like, half the world chasinginspiration?”
“I guess so. But I didn’t really have to. Finding it all over the world was just more fun than trying to get it all in oneplace.”
“Uh huh.” I couldn’t help raising my eyebrows. “And is that a policy you apply to all sorts of areas of your life? Suddenly I’m imagining you leaving a trail of broken hearts all across theglobe.”
Jin’s dark eyes gleamed with amusement. “I won’t say there’s no truth at all in that either. But I swear I’ve never made promises I didn’t intend tokeep.”
“Always a gentleman, even when you’re being a ladies’man?”
“I don’t know any other way to be,” he said with that flirty smile. I wasn’t sure if he meant the gentleman part or the ladies’ man part—maybeboth.
Curiosity prickled at me despite myself. “None of those girls kept your interest long enough to make any promises?” Iasked.