What I’d said to Jin was true. Derek might be as much a pawn in my stepmother’s dealings as I was. Whether I believed that or not… I couldn’t throw this engagement away until I was sure. Not when my entire life as a practicing witch was on theline.
He came to a stop beside me and gave me a smile that looked genuine. “Being asked personal questions by total strangers,” he said. “Always my favoritething.”
I had to laugh. “Tell me about it. Well, at least that part of the formalities isover.”
“I hope you had only good things to say aboutme.”
“Naturally,” I said, but the truth was they hadn’t really asked me much about him at all, had they? Had they questioned him all that much about how he sawme?
Probably he was just joking. I offered him the sparse plate of muffins, watching his face. So he didn’t like books, and he hadn’t been themostconsiderate of my pretended illness, but I hadn’t seen any signs he was in on some conspiracy against me. I’d never come across him talking to my stepmother outside of our regular familyconversations.
Philomena paced at the other side of the room with brisk steps and twitches of her huge skirt. “I’m not certain about this,Rose.”
“I’m not going in blindly,” I said. “I won’t marry him unless I’m sure he isn’t part of any scheme. But until I know one way or the other, I can’t afford to push himaway.”
She huffed. “I don’t like him eitherway.”
“I know,” I said. “But… I might not have been his first choice in partner either, youknow.”
Derek plucked up one of the mini muffins and tipped it to me as if in a toast. “To our consorting and ourmarriage.”
I held up the last bite of mine. “Tous.”
Of course, as soon as I’d swallowed that bite, I couldn’t think of what else to say. In the last three weeks of walks and meals and drives admiring the countryside, we’d pretty much exhausted all possible small talk—and an awful lot of mid-sized talktoo.
What did you talk about with someone who wasn’t interested in about half of the things you were, and wasn’t supposed to know about the other things you’d been up to? Who might be up to thingsyouwouldn’t be happy to know about? “Say, have you been plotting with my stepmother lately?” wasn’t going to cutit.
Maybe I could get at his true feelings about our impending partnership in a less directway.
“Are you starting to feel settled in here?” I asked. “I know it’s got to be pretty different from where you grewup.”
Derek chuckled. “The weather’s certainly different from New Orleans. But I’m an adaptable sort. I think I’ll do finehere.”
“You don’t mind having to make that big a change?” As a witching man with sisters, he’d have known he couldn’t keep his last name and his family property, but he might have intended to stay in Louisiana in the absence of extraincentives.
He tucked his arm around my waist, so smoothly my nerves only jumped a little. The corners of his light brown eyes crinkled with his smile. “I think what I’ll have here with you more than makes up for anything I’m givingup.”
He lowered his head, close enough that his intention was clear but slowly enough that I could have pulled away from the kiss. Consorts-to-be often continued to hold off on much physical intimacy before the ceremony, which would encourage a passion for each other, but getting a little cozy at this committed stage wasn’t discouraged. My pulse skittered, but I held myself inplace.
I could get a taste of my real spark, and that might give me all the answer I needed. So I tipped my head and let Derek meet my mouth withhis.
His lips slid against mine, coaxing mine apart with an ease I wouldn’t have expected. Who hadhekissed in the past to learn how to do that? I gripped his shirt for balance, the closeness of him and the heat of his mouth making me abruptlydizzy.
But doubt stayed clenched tight around my heart. And not a hint of a glimmer lit inside me. My chest felt as hollow as areed.
I eased back from him, my pulse thudding. Derek smiled at me again, looking pleased. I tried to mimic his expression, as if that kiss had given me exactly what I’d been lookingfor.
As if it hadn’t been a complete and totalfailure.
Chapter Twelve
Rose
As estate manager, Meredith had an office to herself, a small room at the back of the house. Of course, she was so busy overseeing the rest of the staff that she was rarely in it except for first thing in the morning, when she went over the day’s itinerary, and last thing at night, when she filed away any results of that day’s work. So it was already pitch black beyond the window when I knocked on herdoor.
Another April storm had kicked up, the wind howling past the manor’s walls. Loud enough that Meredith didn’t hear me until I knocked a second time, a little harder. She glanced up and saw me through the gap where the door stood slightlyajar.
“Oh, Rose! Come on in,honey.”