But she had to want it, and that was the bigger obstacle. What if she didn’t? And how did we explain me paying for it?
I just knew that I wanted to fix it for him. I wasn’t sure there was anything I wouldn’t do for him.
Two more days…
My phone rang, and I looked down to see Charles’s name. It wasn’t the first time he’d called this week, and I hadn’t answered any of them. He knew me well, and if we spoke, he would know something was different. Hell, part of me worried I would want to tell him that things had changed with Sam. That Sam knew about Daniel. That I wanted to be better for him but was also afraid of ruining him, of dimming that light inside him that was so contagious, I couldn’t help catch it myself.
So I ignored Charles and logged on to my computer. I didn’t search my name or read those same stories over and over that talked about the callous man I was and how I’d gotten away with murder. Instead, I looked up more jokes to tell Sam when we spoke.
Friday
I’d put together enchiladas for dinner, and they were waiting in the fridge, just needing to go into the oven when the time came.
When I heard the familiar rumble of Sam’s truck, I went to the door, opened it, and leaned out with my hands holding the doorjamb and with a stupid, absurd smile on my face. Christ, I wanted to soak up each of these moments, live in them and pretend that no part of my life had happened before I’d met Sam.
He killed the engine and climbed out. He wore a pair of slightly baggy jeans, low on his hips and with holes in the knees, a T-shirt, and his backward ball cap. He was the exact kind of man I found attractive as a teenager in Texas and the kind I never would have taken a second look at while in New York.
Sam hefted his bag on his shoulder, took the stairs quickly before stopping right in front of me. “You missed me, Em.”
“I’ve talked to you every day this week.”
“You still missed me. I think I got you all tied up, and damned if that’s not the best thing to ever happen to me.”
He was right, and it was the best thing to ever happen to me too. Instead of answering, I leaned in and took his mouth, tasted toothpaste on his tongue, the familiar scent of Sam invading my senses.
His bag dropped to the porch. His arms wrapped around me, but we didn’t do more, just stood there together enjoying the kiss, slow, lazy strokes of each other’s tongues, like we had all the time in the world.
“How does the moon cut his hair?” Sam asked when we pulled apart.
“How?”
“Eclipse it.”
I shook my head. “What am I going to do with you?”
“I have a few things in mind. Mostly they have to do with your fingers, your cock…definitely your tongue and that ass. For sure that ass.”
Still, we didn’t immediately start ripping each other’s clothes off like we usually did. Instead, he went and put his bag in my room while I poured us two glasses of lemonade. I’d dumped out the old beers this week, not wanting them around him.
When Sam returned, he motioned toward the back door, and I followed him out to the porch. He took the glass, then leaned over the railing, looking out at my property. “It’s really beautiful out here. In some ways I feel so damned lucky to live where I do, surrounded by all this beauty and nature. In others, I want to see more. Just don’t know which feeling is stronger or if it matters.”
“It does.” Clearly, something was on his mind today. I set my glass down, walked over and wrapped my arms around him from behind. I kissed his neck, let my lips linger against the sensitive skin there. “It matters. Did something else happen with your mom?”
“Did I tell you about the time I was thirteen and Mom dropped me off at the movie theater over in Hallsford?” It was a bigger town about thirty minutes from here. Not big by the world’s standards, but Ryland’s.
“No,” I replied.
“There was this action movie I wanted to see so badly. Molls couldn’t go, and Jasper…well, me and him got a unique relationship. We’re family, grew up having sleepovers and all that, but as we became teenagers, we drifted apart. We never really hung out unless our mamas were there or I got dropped off at their place. It was always him and Sutton, and I just felt like a third wheel with them.”
I nodded, kissed him again, tightened my hold.
“I begged her to take me. She kept sayin’ no, but I wouldn’t give up. Finally, she said yes. I thought we were gonna go together, but when we arrived, she said she was droppin’ me off. I was a little sad at first, but I also thought it was cool. That was the first time I got to do something like that. I felt like a grown-up, ya know? Like I was mature. She gave me money, and I went in. I bought too much candy and popcorn because no one was there to tell me I couldn’t. I watched the movie, then went outside to wait for her. I didn’t have a cell phone or nothin’ like that. I waited for two hours after the movie for her to get there to pick me up. The second I got into the car, I knew she’d been drinkin’.”