I bet he feels sorry for me.
I’m a captive here. But then again, I was a captive at home, too. That’s what life in the cartel makes you when you’re a woman.
Plate after plate of mouthwatering food is placed before me, but I can’t eat with gusto. I’m too anxious. My stomach is tied into knots and I barely pay attention to Xavier’s speech about my birthday. As the clock ticks, I realize even though this party is a few days early, my birthday is coming up, and my time is running out.
If I want to escape Xavier, if I gave any hope of severing the ties that bind me to him, I need to do it before my eighteenth birthday.
Once that day comes, he will tether me to him with even tighter ties, making my runaway mission impossible. I know he’s struggling to keep his hands off me, but the moment I’m officially eighteen, nothing will hold him back. He’ll force a ring on my finger and his heir in my belly and I’ll never get away.
The piece of meat I’m chewing gets caught in my throat and I swallow with some difficulty. I can feel most of the people in the hall staring at me. Not just my family and Xavier. Everyone is curious about their padron’s toy. I’m a special one, after all. The only one he intends to keep.
“Lost your appetite, angel?” Xavier asks from his spot at the head of the table, to my right. I can feel my father frowning at his nickname from a few seats down. From my peripheral vision, I see Mom pinching his restless leg to alert him not to show his stress.
“Maybe I’m just too excited,” I get out with a weak smile.
The clock blares through the room. It’s nine p.m., which means the guards’ shifts are changing.
As discreetly as they can, they swap places. I pale when I realize both Julio and Antonio are on the new team. Pale, I watch them take their places. Julio stoically ignores me, but his brother’s gaze is glued to me.
Antonio doesn’t look well. He’s pale, his eyes sunken in and his cheekbones, too. It looks like he’s lost weight, his stubble past the five o’clock shadow every other guard has.
He looks distressed and manic, and his upper lip snarls in disgust as he makes eye contact with me. Then he looks away, raising his chin high.
My heart threatens to pound right out of my chest. Why is he so hostile? It can’t be just because of that play fight and me winning. I’ve played my role so well with him. Why would he suspect anything?
I’m lucky enough that Xavier thinks Antonio’s bullshit theory is made-up. But from the way the guard glares at me, I know I’m in trouble. As long as Antonio is around, I’m not safe in this house.
As the servants bring out desserts, I quietly ponder what to do next. Antonio is a liability. The longer he stays, the more minds he could poison with his shitty ideas. Julio is already suspecting me. God knows how fast the brothers could convince Xavier I’m out to hurt him if they ganged up on me. That’s the last thing I need - more attention. I need to stop playing the brat; I need to become the best trained girl Xavier’s ever had, and hope that’s enough. If he lets me breathe a little, it will make my escape easier.
Under the table, I feel Hades and Zeus licking my knees and I laugh involuntarily as Zeus sticks his head up, begging for scraps.
“Who is this?” Mathilda asks, wide-eyed. My sister loves animals just as much as I do, and it’s nice to see her connecting with my beloved pets. Zeus and Hades seem to like her, nuzzling their heads against her and wagging their tales.
“Their names are Zeus and Hades,” I explain to my sister. “They’re brothers.”
I check on Xavier, and he watches us with affection. I’m grateful he’s not choosing to make this a disciplinary lesson for my dogs. I find them so comforting to be around, they really soothe my anxiety.
My hands form fists around the cutlery I’m holding.
If I run away from here, there’s no guarantee I’ll ever see the dogs again.
As I contemplate that awful thought, I realize I won’t see Xavier again, either.
A lump forms in my throat. No matter how much ice water I try to wash it down with, it doesn’t go away.
Once everyone finishes dinner, Dad and Xavier retreat to an office. I know better than to pry. Mom and Mathilda watch the fireworks from the balcony, and I rush to the powder room to splash some cold water on my face. This night is so overwhelming.
On my way to the bathroom, I’m suddenly yanked aside when a strong palm wraps around my forearm.