I’m sorry, Kira, but we can’t see each other again. You will always be in my heart but we can’t have any more contact.
Please forgive me,
Nick.
And that was the last thing I ever heard from him.
I followed his college football career for a time—he was extremely successful—though not enough to go pro. But it hurt too much to keep remembering how he had sworn that he loved me…and then abandoned me.
The Spauldings were brought up on multiple cases of child abuse, child neglect, reckless endangerment, and of course, sexual abuse and misconduct with a minor. I agreed to testify, mainly because I hoped to see Nick at the trial. But somehow, the days we were in court never coincided.
The reporter who had broken the story was there and so were the Spauldings, of course. Both of them wore orange jumpsuits and Gary Spaulding hobbled slowly as though every step he took hurt him. I learned that his severed penis and testicles had never been found—apparently that night when the strange beast attacked, he had been totally castrated. Which was no more than he deserved—the raping bastard.
But any satisfaction I might have felt was burned away to ashes by my longing for Nick. I took the stand and testified against them—I told the judge and jury everything I had seen and everything that had been done to me. Maria was there too, along with many other young women—the Spauldings had been taking in foster children for years.
It hurt to see how many lives had been shattered by their cruelty and abuse, but the deepest pain for me was never getting to see Nick.
At last the trial was over and both Nancy and Gary Spaulding were sent to prison. As for Alexia Spaulding, I heard she had to drop out of college because there was no more CPS or essential oils MLM money coming in to pay her tuition. Last I heard of her, she was waiting tables at a Denny’s in a truck stop off the interstate.
When all that was said and done, I told myself I had to stop grieving—had to get on with my life. The brand on my arm had long gone cold and dark. It looked like a faded tattoo—a memory of the past that could never be again.
I looked around me and saw that there was a good life waiting if I was willing to reach out my hand for it and grasp it. I had always been a good student and there were scholarships for kids in my circumstances. I applied for all of them and worked hard, finishing as valedictorian of my new high school. I got a full ride to Mount Holyoke and after that, I decided I wanted to continue my education and teach there. I made a new home and a whole new life for myself.
But none of that would have been possible if I hadn’t willed myself to forget Nick and every part of my past that contained him. I burred my memories—both painful and pleasurable—deep in my subconscious and vowed never to dredge them up. If anyone asked about my childhood I told them briefly of my parents’ deaths, and then spoke mostly of the happy years I’d had with Auntie Amelia and Becky. As much as it was possible, I forgot Nick—put him out of my head completely.
Which was why it was so confusing and upsetting when I woke up in his arms with my breasts aching and remembering every damn thing from my past I’d worked so hard to forget.
PART 5
PRESENT DAY
TWENTY-THREE
The early morning sun was making golden stripes in the blinds when I woke up, finally remembering my past completely for the first time in almost ten years. There was a strange, heavy feeling in my breasts that was oddly familiar, though I didn’t know why. They ached and my nipples felt tight and sensitive.
But my brain was so full of the past, I could barely think about the present. I sat up in bed—wincing as the motion jostled my newly-sensitive breasts—and looked down at Nick.
My foster brother was sprawled out, sleeping with careless abandon and taking up most of the bed with his big, muscular body. His golden brown hair was tousled and his dark lashes lay like fans over his high cheekbones. I thought about what a beautiful man he was physically…and then I thought about how he’d abandoned me all those years ago.
Why had he done it? How could he just leave me after all we’d been through together at the Spauldings’ house of horrors? And why, after all these years, did I still have such strong feelings for a man I had struggled ten long years to forget?
As though he could feel me watching him, Nick stirred and opened his eyes.
“Kira, darlin’,” he murmured, looking up at me. “What’s on your mind?”