“Not that way,” he murmured gently. “It wouldn’t be right, darlin’—try to understand.”
The only thing I understood was that the only man I wanted—my first love, my biggest crush—was going to be forever denied to me because of some silly laws I didn’t even understand or agree with.
But I wasn’t about to give up. As Nick had said, I wasn’t raised in the pack. My father had taken me to several gatherings and I had seen some strange things on a few full moon nights—things I had mostly tried to block out. But I hadn’t been raised and immersed in the culture like Nick had and I didn’t intend to let it run my life.
“All right,” I said softly, looking up at him. “I understand if we can’t do that together. I…I don’t think I’m ready to anyway,” I added, truthfully. I was still getting used to my new, full curves—I wasn’t ready to take that next step with anyone, not even Nick.
“I didn’t think you were, darlin’,” he murmured, stroking my cheek.
“I’m not. But I do feel ready to do other things…like kissing,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks get hot. “Only I’ve never kissed anyone before…not until just now.”
“Mmm, that was your first kiss? Coulda fooled me.” Nick smiled at me.
“So I was okay at it?” I asked innocently. “Because honestly, I don’t have any idea what I’m doing. Which is why I thought maybe…maybe you could teach me?”
Nick frowned.
“Teach you how to kiss?”
“Just a little bit,” I whispered, looking at him hopefully. “You know—just in case someone asked me to the prom or something and I want to kiss him afterwards.”
Nick’s frowned deepened and a possessive growl rose in his throat.
“Who asked you to the prom? Was it someone from our school? Because I can’t think of a single guy in Wolverton who’s good enough for you, darlin’,”
“Nobody asked me…yet,” I told him. “But if they do…well, I want to be ready. Please, Nick?” I shifted in the sleeping bag, my full breasts rubbing against his hard chest. I could tell I was affecting him by the way he sucked in a breath and the shaft branding my belly got even harder.
“God, darlin’—I shouldn’t,” he protested weakly. “I’m your big brother.”
“Not by blood—only because of the brand,” I reminded him.
Speaking of the brand, mine was burning and stinging as though in warning. But I was so used to it heating up whenever Nick was around I found it easy to ignore.
Looking back on that time, I realize I should have listened—should have heeded that warning. The brand was trying to tell me something bad was going to happen if we kept this up. But I had been in love with Nick for what felt like forever and he was finally returning my affection—finally seeing me as more than just a “little sister” who had to be protected.
“Well,” he murmured at last. “I guess maybe a little kissing practice couldn’t hurt. After all, you’re only half Were…”
I had no idea what that had to do with it and I didn’t care. I just knew that I loved him and I wanted him and I was desperate to forget the terrible predicament we were in together.
Eagerly, I pressed against him and tilted my head for another kiss. After a moment, I felt Nick’s mouth on mine again. And then we were twining together, tasting each other more fully this time, losing ourselves in the pleasure of the forbidden kiss…
God, it was so sweet—is anything sweeter than your first love? If there is, I can’t think of it. And in case you’re wondering, no we didn’t “go all the way” as we said back then. But that was due to Nick’s restraint—not mine. I would have opened myself to him—would have willingly given him anything.
Nick, however, restricted us to kissing only. Well, kissing and rubbing against each other. But we didn’t use our hands on each other—only our mouths. And he would only kiss my lips—not any other part of my body.
It was a lot less than most teenagers do, but it was enough. Enough to make my body react to his and change in ways I hadn’t known were possible.
I didn’t know what was happening, though—I had no idea I had set my feet on the path to destruction—to abandonment and pain. I only knew that finally Nick was seeing me as a woman, not just a little sister, and that at last he wanted me the way I wanted him.
We went on like that for another week, sleeping in the same sleeping bag with our bodies entwined, making out for hours sometimes before we finally drifted off. Many nights Nick had to slip out of the bag and go “take care of himself” in an empty stall before he could sleep.